Breathe Deeply

It’s no coincidence that we enter this life with our first breath and leave it with our last.  However, if you’re anything like me, breathing has often taken a subconscious back seat in the day to day busyness of life.  Lately though, I’ve become much more conscious of breathing and it’s ability to ground me in my physical body and allow me to focus and regroup.  Too often I find myself stuck in my head, carrying on conversations that often have an element of ego and subsequently contain some kind of negative chatter.  Breathing is an easy and effective way to get out of your head and back into your body.

Athletics, Public Speaking, Performing, Meditation and most of the holistic and spiritual healing methods all emphasize the effect of our breathing – coincidence? – I think not.

I remember as a kid any time I got hurt my Mum would say “take a deep breath” – amazingly, usually within about 3 big breaths I was calmed right down and the hysteria of whatever fall I’d just had disappeared.

Over the next week my challenge to you is: first, start to notice when you feel anxious, worried, in doubt, in fear, or have any seemingly negative thoughts or emotions. Then stop, and take 3 big breaths.  Notice how you feel at that point – if you need to take a few more – do so.  I know it sounds simple, but, in my experience the simple techniques are usually the most effective. I’m curiously excited to hear your feedback.

Write in with your comments!

Have a great week!!!

Heather

Vision Boards

A vision board is simply a pictorial representation of your own personal answers to the question: what do I want?  

I’ve been successfully using vision boards for over four years and they have been incredibly helpful to keep me focussed on those things which are most important to me.  There is some scientific research to support the fact that having specific goals in your life and referencing them daily (have your vision board somewhere that you see it everyday) will enable you to recognize opportunities and therefore reach your goals more quickly and efficiently.  But, more than anything, creating a vision board is a lot of fun.  It’s an opportunity for you to be creative and to be bold.  So what if you can’t afford the car of your dreams today; go down to the dealership, get a brochure, sit in the car, smell it, touch it, get a photo of you in it and then put all the material up on your vision board.

A vision board is an opportunity for you to remove the word “can’t” from your vocabulary and to go crazy as you answer the question: What do I want?

What do you want to be? (doctor, lawyer, singer, base jumper, author, actor, golfer, police officer…)

What do you want to do? (own your own business, travel the word for a year, enter a debating contest…)

What do you want to have? (your dream car, dream home, a new guitar, a scooter….)

What is stopping you from getting visual imagery of the things that you want most in your life, putting them up on a board and taking a look at them everyday?  If nothing else, it’s a “feel good” tool for you to reference daily and realize how many opportunities there are in this life.

There are no “rules” when it comes to vision boards.  It’s a personal thing and it’s an opportunity for you to do what feels right to you.  I have vision boards all over.  I have large poster board types that hang in my office, I use scrapbooks that I carry with me; they even have an application on Facebook where you can create a vision board right on your profile.

Be creative, don’t hold back.  Cut out pictures from magazines, include inspirational or motivational quotes that you like, you can print pictures off the internet that are of interest to you – it’s totally open ended.  The important thing is to DO it.  Just go out there, get yourself a poster board and make your first vision board today – you won’t regret it!!

Check out: My Inspiration Place for reference materials that will inspire!

Living your Dreams

There is one definite inevitability in life and that is, of course, death. Not usually a topic that most people want to talk about or frankly think about, but, nevertheless something that we cannot escape. Personally, my consideration of the concept is something that has given me an incredible amount of strength thus far. Whenever I have a desire to do something really big, there is the almost immediate reaction from my mind. Sometimes it tells me why I can’t do it, sometime why I shouldn’t, sometimes it just laughs at my plans. I’ve heard many theories about why this happens, why we get in our own way, why we stop ourselves from giving something a try? But the bottom line is, if we truly want to do whatever it is, have whatever it is, be whatever it is, and it is our true, inner hearts desire – we simply have to go for it!

When we lost the patriarch of our family 5 years ago I think we all felt the tug of ‘I don’t want my life to pass me by, having not lived my dream’. Myself, my 3 siblings and my Mum have all since gone on to do some of the most incredible things. Though the pain of loss that we all endured will forever shape the way we view the world and though we’d all love to have him back, even just for a day, to ask a certain question or extend that special message of gratitude – I also believe we saw the opportunity in our circumstance and each of us embraced it and our lives are better, richer and more fulfilled because of it.

Whenever I’m scared about whatever leap I’m contemplating taking, or when worry tries to take over my mind I watch the below video. The man on the video, Randy Paucsh, is now famous for his message The Last Lecture. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given only months to live. And in this, his last lecture, he gives a moving, practical, matter of fact speech about how and why to live a life in pursuit of your dreams. There is no time to put things off – we have to pursue those things that we have a desire to – we have to live our dreams!

Winds of Change

I recently had the great opportunity to meet up with Jivi Khehra, the face, voice and spirit behind the phenomenon Winds of Change. Her philosophy is simple – embrace change and celebrate the possibilities in life – talk about right up my ally!

She wrote the most incredible blog post about our first encounter where she described me as “the most charismatic, full of energy, and business savvy person I have met” WOW – what a compliment! – read her full post here.

And you can check out the Winds of Change TV Show Here:

Authentically Passionate: A Lesson from a Night with a DJ

There is nothing that is more attractive to me than passion. Someone who is enthusiastic, authentic and in total LOVE with what they are doing.  - (I made that up, so you can quote me.)

The other night I was at a networking event and though the organizers (god love them, as it was a great event) claimed to be doing something ‘different’, it was pretty much biz as uge. Arrive, have a cocktail and some snacks, mingle mingle, network network and then there’s a speaker (in this case there were 2) followed by Q&A, door prizes and then disperse.

And although I have no complaints, and certainly nothing negative to say about the event, it just didn’t stand out to me. Except for one thing – the DJ, Joe. Joe was awesome. Any time he was able to ‘do his thing’ (during the mingling portion of the evening) he would be completely in to what he was doing. He had a kinda half smile the whole time, the kind you’d see on a 3 year olds face the first time they experience play dough. All excited and happy, while concentrated, and engaged at the same time. Part way through the night I went to introduce myself to him and tell him just how inspired I had been watching him all night and it was clear that he was enjoying every moment of what he was doing. We got to talking and he told me that this was his last night at this venue. When I asked him if that was cool with him or if he was disappointed – he quickly jumped in to say he was thrilled. He believed it was just a sign that something even better for him was around the corner and he was excited to find out what was in store. In the meantime, he already has a few regular gigs, never one to put all his eggs in one basket. All I could think was, how cool is it, that out of a sea of 100 people, I had managed to seek out another passionate, abundantly minded, enthusiastic, and authentic being AND he was the DJ, he wasn’t even attending the event.

Furthermore I started thinking – I’m lucky (by choice) - I spend most of my time with my family, my business partners, my team, my clients or my close friends – all of whom pretty much think the same way I do. Anything is possible. I can make it happen. I’m willing to take 100% responsibility for myself, my life and my choices. I am willing to do the work in getting to know myself and what I want. Furthermore I will ask for what I want in my life.  I don’t give my time or energy to drama. I concentrate on how I can. – I could go on and on but I think you get the pic.

And so often times for me, it’s more rare and usually only in bigger social scenes, like networking events that I run in to, well let’s just say, people that think a bit differently than what I’ve described above. To grossly generalize they like to talk about – the economic climate, how tough it is, how busy they are, how hard they are ‘trying’, how much work they’re putting in, etc. and all I can think is – you should stop doing what you’re doing and try something else – maybe DJing? You should keep trying new things, while you simultaneously get to know your authentic self, eventually arriving at a place where you know who you are, you know what you want, you go out there and take responsibility for your life, your results, and you make it happen. You don’t blame, you don’t complain, you don’t say things just out of habit. You think, you feel, you engage and you LIVE your life. Doing this = authentically passionate (I made this up too, so I hope I’m making sense.)

And that’s how I felt when I saw DJ Joe – I felt like he was 100% his authentic self, loving every moment of what he was doing and after talking with him I learned his attitude simply was – “if I keep doing what I love, I will continue to find arenas that allow me to do what I love”.

In closing, I leave you to ponder a thought that I often do:

I wonder if everyone knew that the key to life running like a smooth river current, always in ‘the flow’, was as simple as 2 words: authentically passionate – would I ever have to have another conversation about the ‘recession’?

Keep having fun!

Heather

Contracts, Rules & Boundaries

This week I had 3 different clients struggle with how to handle a difficult customer. Though the stories, circumstances and details were all different, the theme was the same. In each case my client’s feathers were ruffled as a result of their client crossing a boundary. The interesting part, however, was that after digging a bit deeper in to each case, I discovered the boundary that had been crossed was one that had never been clearly communicated in the first place.

Enter contracts, rules & boundaries, engagement letters, MOU’s etc. There is a reason that since the beginning of time professional relationships have been governed by these kinds of documents. Why? So that everyone knows, understands, and has been clearly communicated with about what each persons roles, expectations, deliverables and consequences are, should they not adhere to the agreement. But aside that, it makes it so that when someone steps outside of the agreement, it is not a personal attack, when you call them out on it.

For example. One of the stories this week involved and overbearing and in fact a client who was turning in to downright bully. She would be calling my client all night long (well after hours), on the weekend, and not just that, she would call/email/text incessantly, over and over again, which was causing my client to hit the ultimate PANIC button. In addition, this client would be brash, rude and raise her voice on the phone – would ask for something to be done, then decide she didn’t want it – leaving my client with unpaid invoices and conflict filled conversations.

When I asked my client if it had always been this way with her client – she said no, in the beginning the client had been enjoyable to work with, but as time had gone on she had increased her demand and eventually started this kind of insane behaviour. What kind of contract or agreement did you have her sign – I innocently asked, instinctively knowing the answer. And you guessed it – there was no contract in place.

This was so easily avoidable – with the communication and accompanying document outlining the rules and boundaries around engaging with my client and her services – we would have never gotten here. The good news is that together we’re putting this imperative piece in place within her business model so that moving forward, this will never happen again.

But let this be a lesson to all in ensuring that no matter how much you like a person, your professional relationships should never get personal. The way to avoid this, is have the difficult conversations up front. Make sure that everyone’s role within the professional relationship is defined, and the rules and boundaries are discussed and there is a plan of action for moving away from the professional relationship at any time. From there, put it all in writing and sign off on it. I promise that by doing this you will avoid all kinds of pain in the long run.

All the best!

Heather

To Be or Not to Be?

We are all familiar with the endless “to do” lists that plague our lives. But, have you ever considered what your “to be” list is? Do you go to bed at night or wake up in the morning clear about who and what you intend to be?

Don’t get me wrong, “to do” lists are imperitive for staying focussed and on track, but, equally important are “to be” lists. A “to be” list will keep you focussed too, just in a different way and on different things.

Take some time and consider, what do I want to be?

Here’s a few examples to get the juices flowing….

strong
compassionate
on time
respectful
athletic
honest
ambitious
loyal
happy
excited
generous
supportive
forgiving
accepting
educated