2012 – is it YOUR year?

There’s no question that a New Year feels like a new beginning. It’s another chance to change. So what’s with that…why do we so desire to change? The simple answer is that we’re not happy and furthermore we’ve developed a deep belief that if we changed x,y,z, and had different results, well then we’d be happy. True?

What I’ve discovered is that happiness in fact is a feeling that is not a result of outside circumstances, but instead a result of your inner vibration – a feeling generated from within you. We’ve been sold a bill of goods in thinking that if we could just lose 10 lbs, make an extra $10K, move our home, change jobs, break up with our mate, get together with a mate – you name it, if we change the outside world – we’ll feel better – we’ll be happy.

But let’s get real – this doesn’t work. Every year you make changes, your outside world looks different – but let me ask you – are you content and happy??? Or do you still long for something, some thing ‘out there’ that is the holy grail of happiness? Do you still wish and dream and imagine a life that is in some way ‘better’, more fulfilling, more exciting?

I bet you do.

We live in a dynamic universe where change is constant. The world is constantly changing and within it, we are constantly changing. The key is to keep moving, to keep progressing. We are always going to want to further expand ourselves and our lives. But the little nugget of truth that you might not know is that feeling content and happy is not dependent totally on growing, and changing with the way of the world. Instead, it’s reverse. Your ability to grow and change is directly affected by the way you feel.

When you feel small, powerless, frustrated, angry, sad – it’s like having a kink in the hose – you lack the power of the flow. When you feel expansive and powerful, it’s like working with a fire hose of energy – it’s abundant.

The way you feel directly affects the power, or lack of power in your ‘hose’ and your hose is the life force energy you will draw on to make change in your life. If all you’ve got is a little dribble, here and there, your life changes and growth will be representative of that – small, sporadic, seemingly insignificant. However, if your access to the life force energy within you, is abundant force, flowing at an incredible pace – your life changes and growth will be BIG, bold and bountiful.

The secret is not to change so that you will be happy, the secret is to be happy so that you will change. And change isn’t even the right word. The true idea is to attain and maintain an inner state of vibration (a feeling) that allows you to rise up to the truth of your life, to connect with your birthright – abundant living with a heart wide open.

If you’re ready for BIG changes in 2012, you’ve got some inner work to do. And inner work is the name of my game. If you want to dig in, feel good, rise up and live your life with an open heart – let’s connect. It’s time, you’re ready.

Drop me a note: heather@heatherwhite.ca and let’s get started TODAY!

Happy New Year!

xo

Dropping Deadlines & Digging Deeper

I’ve been ‘writing a book’ for four years. And when I say ‘writing’ I’m not kidding around. I have 3 different outlines, notebooks FULL of pros, chapters complete, ideas mapped out – literally tens of thousands of words ready to go…. (and that’s not including the 300 blog posts, or 20+articles I’ve written for online & print magazines).

And I could go to the place where this is a negative result, as in I haven’t been ‘disciplined’ enough to bring it to fruition, to finish the book, shop for an agent, make the decision between self publishing or traditional.

However, I believe there’s a divine order to everything in life and as much as we’d love to ‘know’ or be in ‘control’ of that order, I just don’t think we are. Sometimes we have to surrender, let go, trust and see what happens.

I think our primary job is to feel good, to channel good vibrations through our minds and bodies and most importantly, to CREATE.

Julia Cameron has been one of my greatest mentors when it comes to creating and writing. It was Julia who first introduced me to the idea that I would be far better served to write, simply for the love of writing, than to write with the end goal of a published book in mind. And though this may sound frivolous to some, let me assure you that to the creative process, this attitude opens a door to a deeper, more enriched experience. In fact, I write a lot of the time knowing that no one will ever see the work. (I go as far as destroying these pages.) For me, writing is sacred, it’s a meeting with the divine, a conversation with the wisest part of myself, a connection with my soul.

There’s no question that I will have a published book sometime in this lifetime. But for now, I’ve let go of the timeline; I have no deadline. This new sense of freedom I’ve offered myself seems to have opened yet another layer for me and I’m writing now more than I ever have.

If you’re feeling trapped by trying to control the timeline of your life, if you’ve promised yourself that you’re going to ‘get it done’ by a certain date, ask yourself: is it the end result that matters most to you, or the feeling you generate by way of creating as you go?

What I’ve found is that by letting go, I FEEL more grounded, more connected and more creative than ever – and I’m curious to see where this new way takes me.

In the meantime, to keep the disciplined part of myself appeased, I’m working through Danielle Laporte & Linda Siversten’s Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. This is an absolute STELLAR read with practical action steps, not to mention it’s chalk full of valuable, real life examples of others who have gone before, blazing the trail for us to follow. Did I mention, it includes REAL book proposals that landed REAL publishing deals!!!

Happy Writing! Happy Creating! Happy Feeling!

p.s. If you want to get your haute little hands on a copy of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan – click on the banner link down below on the sidebar to be taken to their page. And YES I am getting paid to recommend and spread the love of these two writing goddesses. xo

Potty mouth, Shadows and Transformations

About a month ago I received the below email from a disgruntled reader…

I have to say that the language you use on your site is anything but professional.  A professional does not casually say or write f***, sh** or sh***y in conversation with or on a site professing to give advice to total strangers.

What immediately struck me was that I was not upset in any way by this email. I had no reaction, I was neutral. (Back it up 18 months – 2 years ago and this note would have flatlined me for days, maybe even weeks.)

When you have an emotional reaction to someone else’s opinion of you, it’s because there’s a part of you that agrees with them – a matching piece living within you.

Back in the day (ha! a couple years ago) I would have been affected by this comment because I wasn’t solid in my own belief that I was worthy of the title ‘professional advice giver’ (is that a title?). This comment would have triggered the matching piece within me that questioned whether I was good enough, whether I was capable, whether I could really be trusted to give people advice that would affect the trajectory of their life.

Specifically, I remember one time after delivering a speech I received the ‘feedback form’. 99% of the responses were positive. Heather was fantastic, she has so much energy, very inspiring, great advice, succinct and to the point, loved it….

then at the bottom there was one comment that I’ll never forget…

Young presenter style certainly evident.

This comment took me out. I swore to myself that I’d never speak again.

After I peeled myself of the floor I went to see my Life Coach (my psychic surgeon)…

and that comment morphed in to one of the greatest gifts of my life. With the help of my coach I saw that this was an opportunity for me to address a shadow; a matching piece that lived within me that said: I’m too young to do this work. A piece that was mirrored to me on the feedback form.

Other people play their role, to mirror for us the dark nooks and crannies that live within us. These shadows are the doorways for our greatest transformations. Without others we might never have known the door was even there.

I know in my heart that the deep work I did then changed the fabric of my being and hence the neutral peace inside of me when I read the comment on my blog about my potty mouth. I no longer question my worthiness in this role of ‘professional advice giver’. I know that the service I provide is of tremendous value for those whom it’s a fit for. And for those who don’t fit in this tribe – hey – they can go…well you know…f-off:)

Your reaction to the circumstances in your life is a gift – it will give you all kinds of information and shine a light on the shadows of yourself. Once you’re aware of those dark corners, you can learn from them, transform them and transcend them.

With love,

Heather

Chattin it up with Spirit Junkie Gabrielle Bernstein

Gabrielle Bernstein stopped by to chat with me on her recent visit to Vancouver. Her and I share a passion for spirituality, and tapping in to our inner guidance, remembering that we are not alone to make all the tough decisions in our life. We have access to the voice of our intuition and we have choice, in every moment. Thanks again Gabby for your wisdom, grace and kindness!!! xoxo

A HUGE thank you to Alice Mathieson & Life and Times for the filming & producing of this video!!!

Self-Partnership Trumps Self-Discipline

That book you’re writing….

That weight you’re losing….

That marathon you’re training for….

That business you’re building…..

Put the whip away.

Circle back.

Partner with yourself.

After all, it is YOU who will do all the hard work, the long hours, the late nights. Show yourself support, compassion, love and nurture as you embark on these valiant journeys.

Because at the end of the road, when you’ve reached the goal, when it’s time to celebrate, you wanna be happy right?

“If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

Betcha You Can

I was in the gym this morning doing a leg workout I learned via Personal Trainer extraordinaire Hannah Fletcher. There’s no doubt it’s a killer – and YES you’re sore for a few days after, but the results are indeed worth it. I only do it when I’m feeling on top of my game, super powerful in mind, body and spirit and craving the feeling any major accomplishment provides.

If you’d showed me this workout a couple of years ago I would have laughed out loud at the thought of actually doing it. But as I know you can relate, sometimes all it takes for you to believe in yourself and your abilities is someone else who believes you can. That person, as it pertains to fitness, was Hannah. She BELIEVED that I could do it, coached me on how to do it, eased me in to it and eventually sure enough – I COULD DO IT.

This morning a gal came up to me (we were alternating sets on the leg press) and said to me “I couldn’t even move the weight you had – you should be so proud of yourself!” At that particular moment I was trying to keep from throwing up in my mouth, so I managed a smile, but later when we were stretching I said to her… “I bet you could lift that”. I went on to share my personal experience in working with Hannah to get to where I am now with my fitness.  She said “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.”  ”Oh don’t worry, I’m giving myself credit, but I still bet you could lift it” I said. We both smiled in agreement of the underlying message.

When I travelled to Dallas a few years ago to the eWomenNetwork annual conference, CEO and Founder Sandra Yancey reminded the entire audience to “lift as you climb”. That lesson has stuck with me and any time I can believe in someone else, coach them on ‘how to’ do something I’ve been fortunate to learn, ease them in to it, and watch them succeed – I jump at the opportunity.

Even if you don’t believe you can, find someone who does, someone who can show you how, ease you in and celebrate success with you.  I betcha you can!

Online Oversharing

I was recently asked about the concept of ‘oversharing’,  in other words when does authenticity and vulnerability cross the line? (We were talking primarily about online, tweets, status updates, blog posts etc.)

If I remember correctly my response was to trust your own intuition and that little feeling inside yourself that gives you the ‘no’ feeling at the thought of sharing. Usually you get that feeling before you send something out, but once in a while, it’s a moment of retrospect.

I’ve certainly sent out a few tweets, usually after happy hour, and thought later – yeah, I really wish I hadn’t tweeted that. The way I knew it was oversharing was that little feeling of sinking in the pit of my stomach. However, it’s important to not beat yourself up, or vow to never tweet again after one of these not so pleasant moments, but instead learn, lean in to the mistake, offer forgiveness to yourself because I know your intentions were good, and keep going.

I think the real key to the authenticity in your story telling and sharing is the element of connection. (If you haven’t watched Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on this subject – I highly recommend you do – click here.)  How can others see themselves in your sharing, connect their life and their experience to your life and your experience? What’s the collective lesson? What’s the collective feeling?

In other words, don’t write about your head cold and go on for days and days complaining about how sick you are and how much it sucks to be sick. Instead talk about what the experience of being sick has brought to the surface of your awareness. Talk about taking care of your health because when you don’t have it, life is a very different experience. Talk about remedies you’ve discovered that quickly release your body from a cold. Talk about things that other people can connect with, experience, learn from.

Authenticity is not an exercise in narcism, but instead an opportunity for connection. It’s a chance for others to see themselves in you and in your story and recognize that they are not alone. And as humans feeling alone, isolated, out of the loop or out of the tribe is our most primal fear. Sharing and storytelling is a wonderful way to invite others in to a collective unity that reminds them – we are all connected, we are all one, and it’s safe to be who you really are.