Nature Speaks
For those whom know me well it will come as no surprise to hear that I’m not much of a camper. In fact, even the new term ‘glamping’ – derived from the concept of glamorous camping, doesn’t really appeal to me. (I’m more of a Fairmont kinda girl.) But, similarly to the time in my life where I realized that I could be spiritual without being religious, this summer drew my attention to the fact that I can still be a nature loving freak, without having to sleep on the ground. (Thank god for that!)
Because for me, nature is my church, and this summer I had the most amazing opportunities to experience this vast place of worship. From the top of Kicking Horse Mountain to my family homestead in Heatherdown Alberta, I spent some of the most rejuvenating days, simply breathing in the beauty that is all around us on this spectacular planet. (I even played a round of golf by myself in Golden BC – what an amazing experience!)
Out in the fresh air, all by myself, I couldn’t help but have moments of profound insight. I could decipher the voice of my true self from that of my capitalist ego (although I do like that part of myself too!) and I gained some much needed clarity in many areas of my life.
3 years ago, almost to the day, was when I made the decision to walk away from my corporate life, my cushy benefit package, my car allowance, and of course my expense account, to pursue a life that I had once only imagined. To become an entrepreneur, start companies, travel, make tonnes of money, work when it suited me and have 100% control over my life. At first, (about the first 18 months) I was running uphill – not really because it was necessary to work as hard as I was, but I think more because I was somewhat accustomed to a ‘pace’ that in my mind would equal success (and of course income – as that was what I needed the most at that time). Today I look back at myself and I am incredibly proud. The tenacity and work ethic I exuded was one of a determined, fail? – not an option, kind of Marshall Mathers persona. This served me well. On the days when I wondered if I was going to make it at all, I was even more motivated and on the days where success fell in to my lap, I felt it was all worth it.
Then I woke up, some 3 years later, (earlier this year) to realize – wowza – that life that I ‘imagined’, the one I had been busting my balls for, it was here. And although, in theory, this should be grounds for an enormous celebration, I kinda felt lost again. Because the real truth about goal setting isn’t about the achievement of goals at all, it’s about setting goals that are so inspiring to you, that you awaken this incredible life force energy within every cell of your being, propelling you forward, through hoops and over mountains in hot pursuit of those goals you desire to achieve. Once achieved, however, your life force energy starts to drift away, and this is a major clue to remind you (and me, in this case) it’s time for some new goals.
So, in the spring of this year, I set an intention. I wanted to spend some much needed time with myself, in my place of worship (nature), in order to re-ignite my burning desire to pursue a new destination, new dreams and new goals. What transpired was a summer of magical encounters leaving me full of ideas, insights, inspirations and of course – goals.
So for anyone out there who is itchy, searching, curiously exploring or knowing they need some new inspiration to awaken within them, the passion, the drive, the tenacity that has seemed to slip away – take a time out, be with yourself, ask yourself the hard questions, LISTEN for the answers that bubble to the surface of your mind, and buckle up, because if your experience is anything like mine has been – you’re in for an exciting ride!!
Rise Up
I like to think of myself as a helium balloon rising up to the holy grail of my potential in this life time. Yeah, maybe a bit out there, but it works for me. The kicker is, that attached to my helium balloon is a string with a series of weights that make the rising of my balloon a manageable and comfortable pace of climb so as not to shoot up too quickly only to explode under the pressure.
BUT, by committing to the climb (the ongoing pursuit of development and growth) in my life, there inevitably comes a time where the heaviest weight, stops allowing me to progress and starts to pull against my growth. This is not good. This shows up in things like: a job that no longer excites you and/or allows you to learn, a relationship with a boss or co-worker that you once saw as a mentor that now you look at with frustration, a gym workout that puts you through the motions, but no longer produces positive results. What does this all mean? It’s time to drop that heavy weight!
Letting go in life is tough. It means leaving what is, what you know, what feels safe and stepping in to the mystery of life. This is not easy. It requires consciousness, because only when you’re conscious would you even notice that something is weighing you down in the first place. It requires a commitment to make the necessary change. It requires a plan in which you’ll take the necessary steps to make the change and it requires bravery when you step out and start the movement of taking action.
Take a conscious look at your life this week and ask yourself – am I being ‘weighed’ down by anything right now? The clues will be in your feelings. If you are, commit to letting it go, create a plan to do so and step in to the mystery of life with brave curiosity. Only then, can you again RISE UP!
Vision Boards
A vision board is simply a pictorial representation of your own personal answers to the question: what do I want?
I’ve been successfully using vision boards for over four years and they have been incredibly helpful to keep me focussed on those things which are most important to me. There is some scientific research to support the fact that having specific goals in your life and referencing them daily (have your vision board somewhere that you see it everyday) will enable you to recognize opportunities and therefore reach your goals more quickly and efficiently. But, more than anything, creating a vision board is a lot of fun. It’s an opportunity for you to be creative and to be bold. So what if you can’t afford the car of your dreams today; go down to the dealership, get a brochure, sit in the car, smell it, touch it, get a photo of you in it and then put all the material up on your vision board.
A vision board is an opportunity for you to remove the word “can’t” from your vocabulary and to go crazy as you answer the question: What do I want?
What do you want to be? (doctor, lawyer, singer, base jumper, author, actor, golfer, police officer…)
What do you want to do? (own your own business, travel the word for a year, enter a debating contest…)
What do you want to have? (your dream car, dream home, a new guitar, a scooter….)
What is stopping you from getting visual imagery of the things that you want most in your life, putting them up on a board and taking a look at them everyday? If nothing else, it’s a “feel good” tool for you to reference daily and realize how many opportunities there are in this life.
There are no “rules” when it comes to vision boards. It’s a personal thing and it’s an opportunity for you to do what feels right to you. I have vision boards all over. I have large poster board types that hang in my office, I use scrapbooks that I carry with me; they even have an application on Facebook where you can create a vision board right on your profile.
Be creative, don’t hold back. Cut out pictures from magazines, include inspirational or motivational quotes that you like, you can print pictures off the internet that are of interest to you – it’s totally open ended. The important thing is to DO it. Just go out there, get yourself a poster board and make your first vision board today – you won’t regret it!!
Check out: My Inspiration Place for reference materials that will inspire!
Living your Dreams
There is one definite inevitability in life and that is, of course, death. Not usually a topic that most people want to talk about or frankly think about, but, nevertheless something that we cannot escape. Personally, my consideration of the concept is something that has given me an incredible amount of strength thus far. Whenever I have a desire to do something really big, there is the almost immediate reaction from my mind. Sometimes it tells me why I can’t do it, sometime why I shouldn’t, sometimes it just laughs at my plans. I’ve heard many theories about why this happens, why we get in our own way, why we stop ourselves from giving something a try? But the bottom line is, if we truly want to do whatever it is, have whatever it is, be whatever it is, and it is our true, inner hearts desire – we simply have to go for it!
When we lost the patriarch of our family 5 years ago I think we all felt the tug of ‘I don’t want my life to pass me by, having not lived my dream’. Myself, my 3 siblings and my Mum have all since gone on to do some of the most incredible things. Though the pain of loss that we all endured will forever shape the way we view the world and though we’d all love to have him back, even just for a day, to ask a certain question or extend that special message of gratitude – I also believe we saw the opportunity in our circumstance and each of us embraced it and our lives are better, richer and more fulfilled because of it.
Whenever I’m scared about whatever leap I’m contemplating taking, or when worry tries to take over my mind I watch the below video. The man on the video, Randy Paucsh, is now famous for his message The Last Lecture. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given only months to live. And in this, his last lecture, he gives a moving, practical, matter of fact speech about how and why to live a life in pursuit of your dreams. There is no time to put things off – we have to pursue those things that we have a desire to – we have to live our dreams!
Authentically Passionate: A Lesson from a Night with a DJ
There is nothing that is more attractive to me than passion. Someone who is enthusiastic, authentic and in total LOVE with what they are doing. - (I made that up, so you can quote me.)
The other night I was at a networking event and though the organizers (god love them, as it was a great event) claimed to be doing something ‘different’, it was pretty much biz as uge. Arrive, have a cocktail and some snacks, mingle mingle, network network and then there’s a speaker (in this case there were 2) followed by Q&A, door prizes and then disperse.
And although I have no complaints, and certainly nothing negative to say about the event, it just didn’t stand out to me. Except for one thing – the DJ, Joe. Joe was awesome. Any time he was able to ‘do his thing’ (during the mingling portion of the evening) he would be completely in to what he was doing. He had a kinda half smile the whole time, the kind you’d see on a 3 year olds face the first time they experience play dough. All excited and happy, while concentrated, and engaged at the same time. Part way through the night I went to introduce myself to him and tell him just how inspired I had been watching him all night and it was clear that he was enjoying every moment of what he was doing. We got to talking and he told me that this was his last night at this venue. When I asked him if that was cool with him or if he was disappointed – he quickly jumped in to say he was thrilled. He believed it was just a sign that something even better for him was around the corner and he was excited to find out what was in store. In the meantime, he already has a few regular gigs, never one to put all his eggs in one basket. All I could think was, how cool is it, that out of a sea of 100 people, I had managed to seek out another passionate, abundantly minded, enthusiastic, and authentic being AND he was the DJ, he wasn’t even attending the event.
Furthermore I started thinking – I’m lucky (by choice) - I spend most of my time with my family, my business partners, my team, my clients or my close friends – all of whom pretty much think the same way I do. Anything is possible. I can make it happen. I’m willing to take 100% responsibility for myself, my life and my choices. I am willing to do the work in getting to know myself and what I want. Furthermore I will ask for what I want in my life. I don’t give my time or energy to drama. I concentrate on how I can. – I could go on and on but I think you get the pic.
And so often times for me, it’s more rare and usually only in bigger social scenes, like networking events that I run in to, well let’s just say, people that think a bit differently than what I’ve described above. To grossly generalize they like to talk about – the economic climate, how tough it is, how busy they are, how hard they are ‘trying’, how much work they’re putting in, etc. and all I can think is – you should stop doing what you’re doing and try something else – maybe DJing? You should keep trying new things, while you simultaneously get to know your authentic self, eventually arriving at a place where you know who you are, you know what you want, you go out there and take responsibility for your life, your results, and you make it happen. You don’t blame, you don’t complain, you don’t say things just out of habit. You think, you feel, you engage and you LIVE your life. Doing this = authentically passionate (I made this up too, so I hope I’m making sense.)
And that’s how I felt when I saw DJ Joe – I felt like he was 100% his authentic self, loving every moment of what he was doing and after talking with him I learned his attitude simply was – “if I keep doing what I love, I will continue to find arenas that allow me to do what I love”.
In closing, I leave you to ponder a thought that I often do:
I wonder if everyone knew that the key to life running like a smooth river current, always in ‘the flow’, was as simple as 2 words: authentically passionate – would I ever have to have another conversation about the ‘recession’?
Keep having fun!
Heather
Contracts, Rules & Boundaries
This week I had 3 different clients struggle with how to handle a difficult customer. Though the stories, circumstances and details were all different, the theme was the same. In each case my client’s feathers were ruffled as a result of their client crossing a boundary. The interesting part, however, was that after digging a bit deeper in to each case, I discovered the boundary that had been crossed was one that had never been clearly communicated in the first place.
Enter contracts, rules & boundaries, engagement letters, MOU’s etc. There is a reason that since the beginning of time professional relationships have been governed by these kinds of documents. Why? So that everyone knows, understands, and has been clearly communicated with about what each persons roles, expectations, deliverables and consequences are, should they not adhere to the agreement. But aside that, it makes it so that when someone steps outside of the agreement, it is not a personal attack, when you call them out on it.
For example. One of the stories this week involved and overbearing and in fact a client who was turning in to downright bully. She would be calling my client all night long (well after hours), on the weekend, and not just that, she would call/email/text incessantly, over and over again, which was causing my client to hit the ultimate PANIC button. In addition, this client would be brash, rude and raise her voice on the phone – would ask for something to be done, then decide she didn’t want it – leaving my client with unpaid invoices and conflict filled conversations.
When I asked my client if it had always been this way with her client – she said no, in the beginning the client had been enjoyable to work with, but as time had gone on she had increased her demand and eventually started this kind of insane behaviour. What kind of contract or agreement did you have her sign – I innocently asked, instinctively knowing the answer. And you guessed it – there was no contract in place.
This was so easily avoidable – with the communication and accompanying document outlining the rules and boundaries around engaging with my client and her services – we would have never gotten here. The good news is that together we’re putting this imperative piece in place within her business model so that moving forward, this will never happen again.
But let this be a lesson to all in ensuring that no matter how much you like a person, your professional relationships should never get personal. The way to avoid this, is have the difficult conversations up front. Make sure that everyone’s role within the professional relationship is defined, and the rules and boundaries are discussed and there is a plan of action for moving away from the professional relationship at any time. From there, put it all in writing and sign off on it. I promise that by doing this you will avoid all kinds of pain in the long run.
All the best!
Heather
To Be or Not to Be?
We are all familiar with the endless “to do” lists that plague our lives. But, have you ever considered what your “to be” list is? Do you go to bed at night or wake up in the morning clear about who and what you intend to be?
Don’t get me wrong, “to do” lists are imperitive for staying focussed and on track, but, equally important are “to be” lists. A “to be” list will keep you focussed too, just in a different way and on different things.
Take some time and consider, what do I want to be?
Here’s a few examples to get the juices flowing….
strong
compassionate
on time
respectful
athletic
honest
ambitious
loyal
happy
excited
generous
supportive
forgiving
accepting
educated
You Don't Have To
I jumped in the elevator this morning, on my way to the gym, and on the way down another lady joined me. I asked her if she was venturing out (it was raining quite heavily) and she angrily replied that yes she “had” to go out because she “had” to get a new bath mat.
Now, first of all, I’m not saying she didn’t need a new bath mat, but, a bath mat is not something you HAVE to go out and get. (I’ve been using a towel as a bath mat for the last 7 years.) The second you say you “have” to do something, or you “should” do something you might as well undress, get back into bed and start the day all over again. Life, in my opinion, isn’t about “have” to it’s about “want” to.
I know some people would tell me I’m splitting hairs, but, I’m really not. Telling yourself you want to do something versus telling yourself you have to do something is going to result in very different experiences. If you want to do something there is a part of you that is excited, anticipatory, looking forward to the experience. When you feel like you “have” to do something it feels monotonous, frustrating, time consuming and a down right drag.
Funny that I was going to the gym when I started this conversation with myself because that is another place that I hear “have” to quite a bit. Here’s the deal: you don’t HAVE to do anything you don’t want to do. But you can want to do things that need to get done – does that make sense?
Regardless of what it is that you are doing, have the attitude that you WANT to do it and it will get done more quickly, more efficiently and you will enjoy the experience much more than if you tell yourself you HAVE to.
If no part of you wants to do whatever it is, my advise: don’t do it. Nothing “has” to be done that badly that you have to drag yourself through the experience.
Over the next couple of days listen to yourself and keep your ear open for “have” to or “should”. When you hear those words, ask yourself: “Does any part of me want to do this?” Often the answer is yes, there is a part of you that wants to do it. It’s usually that you’re just in a bad habit of using “have” or “should”. In these cases, it’s simple, just replace “have” or “should” with “want” or “choose”. If, however, no part of you wants to – refer to the default and don’t do it!! (note: you “should” only “have” to do something if it’s a life or death situation; in that case, it’s usually a “want” or “choose” anyway)
Set a good example
We’ve become obsessed with popular culture in such a way that some of us have started to lose sight of the awesomeness that comes with just being a human being. When you really think about human beings as a species, as a civilization; the things we are capable of, the triumphs, the accomplishments, the success, the passion – it’s unbelievably amazing! Why is it then that we beat ourselves up, concentrate on the things that we don’t like about ourselves, the things that aren’t perfect? It’s very much a bad habit – fueled by the media and popular culture.
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But, for starters, if you’re caught in this trap of comparing yourself to others, get out. By constantly looking outside yourself and trying to find things to identify with, you miss the essence of yourself. The real you is on the inside. Secondly, get out of the habit of looking for the things that you don’t like about yourself. Instead, even if it’s only 1 thing, concentrate on the things that you do like about yourself. Quantum physics has continued to teach us that everything is energy, even our thoughts. So, if you give your energy to the things that you don’t like about yourself – by nature they will continue to grow, even if it’s only in your own head. If there are things that you don’t like about yourself, don’t give your energy to them. Instead, do one of two things: shift your energy to the things you do like about yourself and stop giving your energy to that which you don’t or put your energy into making a change in order to eliminate that which you don’t like. Don’t get stuck in the trap of insulting and hurting yourself; it’s just not worth it.
Love yourself; be your best friend because it is you who sets the example for how the rest of the world will treat you.