Beyond Pink

I had the great honour and privilege to speak on Day 1 of Beyond Pink 2010 (#bp2010) and I was so incredibly energized by the whole experience.

Confession #1: The day before the conference I still didn’t feel convinced on what I was going to present. I knew the content I wanted to share (lessons I’ve learned that I think could help others), but, it was more a question of which context? what stories? – I’ve learned so much – which is the most important? what really matters to a 22 yr. old? what will really help them? what do they need to hear?

In reflection, I’m so shocked at how much of a ‘fear’ mode I entered in to when I was in preparing because I was ‘Worrying, stressing, over-thinking etc.’ I wanted so badly to present something amazing, inspirational, life changing, magical….I almost forgot, what they wanted most to hear was ‘how’? How I did it, and how I thought they could do it. All I had to do was tell the truth, tell my story, and be myself – I feel a “that was easy” Staples button push at this moment and I’m sure the 48 hrs leading up to my presentation could have been a lot smoother if I had made this realization a little earlier. But hey, these are the growing ‘pains’ of life.

When I arrived at Beyond Pink, as usual I was blown away. These ladies had put together a meticulously organized event with authentically energized volunteers – it was an amazing experience! They had all the details covered and as a speaker, I’ve been to many conferences – these girls took such amazing care of me – it was definitely a ‘rock star’ feeling – thank you!!!

When I saw how they had so cleverly organized the speaker sessions, of which conference attendees got to choose which sessions they’d go to – I hit major panic mode. Confession # 2 – I saw the bowl for my session and there were only 3 tabs inside to which I assumed (MAJOR MISTAKE) that only 3 people wanted to come to my session. I had an egoic moment where I questioned my entire existence on the planet, and quickly snapped myself back to earth and affirmed the thought ‘I trust that the right people will be in the room for the right reasons and if that is only 3 people – then that is the way it is meant to be.”

It turns out the bowl for my session was originally filled with the # of spots that could be accommodated in the room, and the 3 tabs inside my bowl meant my workshop was practically sold out. (It was a great reminder for me (and to anyone reading this) to not make assumptions!!)

Confession #3: I think I got more out of the experience than anyone. I don’t think there is anything more validating than when people spend time to learn how you’ve navigated your life path with genuine curiosity. The mistakes, the triumphs, the truth. Thank you so much to YWIB and all the amazing women who I met at Beyond Pink 2010. You all left a definite MARK on my heart.

Much love!
Heather

Lighten Up!

It seems fitting, on a weekend where I’ll be stuffing my belly with yummy turkey goodness, to write a post about lightening up.

My life as an entrepreneur has felt heavy at times. And although the heaviness has evolved and morphed and changed – it still shows up. In the early days the heaviness was about survival – on all levels. Later it became about values, boundaries, rules of engagement. And lately, it’s been about vision, telling the truth, not to others so much, but, to myself. The truth about what I really want to do, who I really want to be, where I really want to go….heavy stuff eh?

I see it two fold – one part of me is tired, resisting, frustrated, sometimes even angry at having to think, feel, and the worst part – DECIDE – what answers to those questions will I create? Will I be true to myself and go for what I really want or play it safe, where it’s more comfortable, not as scary? The other part of me is wildly excited, knowing exactly where we are going, exactly what we are doing, exactly who we are being. (Funny how I see that part as a ‘we’ and not an ‘I’ – not too sure about that…telling).

So, I’m going to do what I do every time ‘heaviness’ comes up in my business and in my life. I’m going to let it all go. I’m going to just lighten up. I’m going to decide not to decide. I’m going to stop trying to force it. I’m going to stop obsessing. I’m going to breathe, I’m going to have fun and I’m going to lighten up! Lightening up, for me, looks like playing, no agenda, silliness, child-like curiosity and exploration. I don’t know what I’m going to do, don’t know who’s going to call or who I’m going to call. Don’t know what idea or inspiration I’m going to have, or not. Who cares?

Sometimes life gets heavy and feels hard. When you recognize that – do whatever works for you to ‘lighten up’!!

“Fear grows in darkness; if you think there’s a bogeyman around, turn on the light.” – Dorothy Thompson

Set a good example

We’ve become obsessed with popular culture in such a way that some of us have started to lose sight of the awesomeness that comes with just being a human being. When you really think about human beings as a species, as a civilization; the things we are capable of, the triumphs, the accomplishments, the success, the passion – it’s unbelievably amazing! Why is it then that we beat ourselves up, concentrate on the things that we don’t like about ourselves, the things that aren’t perfect? It’s very much a bad habit – fueled by the media and popular culture.

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But, for starters, if you’re caught in this trap of comparing yourself to others, get out. By constantly looking outside yourself and trying to find things to identify with, you miss the essence of yourself. The real you is on the inside. Secondly, get out of the habit of looking for the things that you don’t like about yourself. Instead, even if it’s only 1 thing, concentrate on the things that you do like about yourself. Quantum physics has continued to teach us that everything is energy, even our thoughts. So, if you give your energy to the things that you don’t like about yourself – by nature they will continue to grow, even if it’s only in your own head. If there are things that you don’t like about yourself, don’t give your energy to them. Instead, do one of two things: shift your energy to the things you do like about yourself and stop giving your energy to that which you don’t or put your energy into making a change in order to eliminate that which you don’t like. Don’t get stuck in the trap of insulting and hurting yourself; it’s just not worth it.

Love yourself; be your best friend because it is you who sets the example for how the rest of the world will treat you.

Close your eyes and IMAGINE…

As a little girl I was one of those ‘teacher’s pet’, ‘goodie two shoes’ type. I did exactly what I was told, followed instructions to a tee and let’s face it over excelled whenever I could. And though you might be thinking ‘I hated those kind of kids’ fear not, as I was also socially and personally aware of myself and my surroundings and made sure not to make other kids feel bad or as though they weren’t good enough. Instead I strived to make every and all situations pleasing and enjoyable for all involved. (A skill I think I picked up growing up with divorcing and eventually divorced parents.)

In Kindergarten we were introduced to reading, a skill I had already mastered. At home every night in the bath I read Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys novels, and when I was at school I pretended I had no idea how to even sound out a sentence. Why you ask? Simple. None of the other kids in my class knew how to read and so I didn’t want them to feel bad about themselves knowing that I did. I remember my Mum coming home from the parent/teacher interviews and getting grounded for ‘lying’ about being able to read – soo not fair! But, yet today I can’t tell a lie either, so all in all, another bonus for my character.

As I look back on my overly analytical and logical little five year old mind I realize how little time I spent doing the ‘right’ brain kind of activities. Daydreaming, imagining, and building an imaginary life in my mind. Wishing and dreaming up elaborate and beautiful pictures of what life could be. Today that is a skill I work on developing everyday. Imagining and dreaming up what I want my life to look like. The kinds of things I want to see a part of it. The kinds of future aspirations I have for myself. The goals I wish to set and achieve.

Don’t think of this as a waste of time, or pointless because you can’t see the ‘how’ of making your dreams come to fruition. Just enjoy those moments where you can close your eyes, and imagine….

Being Perfect

There’s no question, I’m a perfectionist. In theory, I’d love to say I’m reformed, but, that would be a lie. I’m better, that’s for sure. (I no longer use q-tips when cleaning my house) but I’m far from reformed. In so many ways perfectionism serves me. It allows me to blow my competitors out of the park. I exceed expectations, all the time, that’s MY M.O. Always has been. But as I continue to READ MORE