2012 – is it YOUR year?

There’s no question that a New Year feels like a new beginning. It’s another chance to change. So what’s with that…why do we so desire to change? The simple answer is that we’re not happy and furthermore we’ve developed a deep belief that if we changed x,y,z, and had different results, well then we’d be happy. True?

What I’ve discovered is that happiness in fact is a feeling that is not a result of outside circumstances, but instead a result of your inner vibration – a feeling generated from within you. We’ve been sold a bill of goods in thinking that if we could just lose 10 lbs, make an extra $10K, move our home, change jobs, break up with our mate, get together with a mate – you name it, if we change the outside world – we’ll feel better – we’ll be happy.

But let’s get real – this doesn’t work. Every year you make changes, your outside world looks different – but let me ask you – are you content and happy??? Or do you still long for something, some thing ‘out there’ that is the holy grail of happiness? Do you still wish and dream and imagine a life that is in some way ‘better’, more fulfilling, more exciting?

I bet you do.

We live in a dynamic universe where change is constant. The world is constantly changing and within it, we are constantly changing. The key is to keep moving, to keep progressing. We are always going to want to further expand ourselves and our lives. But the little nugget of truth that you might not know is that feeling content and happy is not dependent totally on growing, and changing with the way of the world. Instead, it’s reverse. Your ability to grow and change is directly affected by the way you feel.

When you feel small, powerless, frustrated, angry, sad – it’s like having a kink in the hose – you lack the power of the flow. When you feel expansive and powerful, it’s like working with a fire hose of energy – it’s abundant.

The way you feel directly affects the power, or lack of power in your ‘hose’ and your hose is the life force energy you will draw on to make change in your life. If all you’ve got is a little dribble, here and there, your life changes and growth will be representative of that – small, sporadic, seemingly insignificant. However, if your access to the life force energy within you, is abundant force, flowing at an incredible pace – your life changes and growth will be BIG, bold and bountiful.

The secret is not to change so that you will be happy, the secret is to be happy so that you will change. And change isn’t even the right word. The true idea is to attain and maintain an inner state of vibration (a feeling) that allows you to rise up to the truth of your life, to connect with your birthright – abundant living with a heart wide open.

If you’re ready for BIG changes in 2012, you’ve got some inner work to do. And inner work is the name of my game. If you want to dig in, feel good, rise up and live your life with an open heart – let’s connect. It’s time, you’re ready.

Drop me a note: heather@heatherwhite.ca and let’s get started TODAY!

Happy New Year!

xo

Self-Partnership Trumps Self-Discipline

That book you’re writing….

That weight you’re losing….

That marathon you’re training for….

That business you’re building…..

Put the whip away.

Circle back.

Partner with yourself.

After all, it is YOU who will do all the hard work, the long hours, the late nights. Show yourself support, compassion, love and nurture as you embark on these valiant journeys.

Because at the end of the road, when you’ve reached the goal, when it’s time to celebrate, you wanna be happy right?

“If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

Betcha You Can

I was in the gym this morning doing a leg workout I learned via Personal Trainer extraordinaire Hannah Fletcher. There’s no doubt it’s a killer – and YES you’re sore for a few days after, but the results are indeed worth it. I only do it when I’m feeling on top of my game, super powerful in mind, body and spirit and craving the feeling any major accomplishment provides.

If you’d showed me this workout a couple of years ago I would have laughed out loud at the thought of actually doing it. But as I know you can relate, sometimes all it takes for you to believe in yourself and your abilities is someone else who believes you can. That person, as it pertains to fitness, was Hannah. She BELIEVED that I could do it, coached me on how to do it, eased me in to it and eventually sure enough – I COULD DO IT.

This morning a gal came up to me (we were alternating sets on the leg press) and said to me “I couldn’t even move the weight you had – you should be so proud of yourself!” At that particular moment I was trying to keep from throwing up in my mouth, so I managed a smile, but later when we were stretching I said to her… “I bet you could lift that”. I went on to share my personal experience in working with Hannah to get to where I am now with my fitness.  She said “I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.”  ”Oh don’t worry, I’m giving myself credit, but I still bet you could lift it” I said. We both smiled in agreement of the underlying message.

When I travelled to Dallas a few years ago to the eWomenNetwork annual conference, CEO and Founder Sandra Yancey reminded the entire audience to “lift as you climb”. That lesson has stuck with me and any time I can believe in someone else, coach them on ‘how to’ do something I’ve been fortunate to learn, ease them in to it, and watch them succeed – I jump at the opportunity.

Even if you don’t believe you can, find someone who does, someone who can show you how, ease you in and celebrate success with you.  I betcha you can!

YOU have the ability to RESPOND – It’s time to take your life by STORM

I am a huge advocate for honesty, authenticity and courage. So when the guy in pro-shop told me “he’d had better days” and the server later that night at dinner said “I’d rather not be working” I couldn’t help but notice my reaction. Yes, I admire the fact that they each knew their own truth (something many are ignorant to) and I also recognize their courage in actually admitting it and saying it out loud. But, I also felt slightly frustrated in having to encounter their negative attitudes and energies. So what is it, do I admire their honesty or wish they would keep it to themselves?

After much thought and contemplation, I recognized what it was that really bothered me: the victim mentality. Yes, I totally appreciate their honesty, and I admire their courage in speaking up, but what I don’t respect is that they stopped there. Having recognized the truth, why not take some responsibility and create the change required so you don’t have to ‘have better days’?

Now I’m human too, I still get PMS (ITS for you dudes out there), I still feel sorry for myself once in a while and wallow in a good old round of self pity, but, that is not my everyday mentality. And it doesn’t have to be yours either. You deserve better than that. You deserve to feel more joy than suffering, more excitement than boredom, more enthusiasm than grinding, more love than hate – BUT it is up to YOU.

Kick your inner victim to the curb and get busy miss (or mister) – it’s time for you to take your life by storm!

Let me ask you….

1. Do you have an all encompassing purpose that drives you out of bed everyday like a moth to a flame?
2. Do you have clearly defined, articulated and specific goals that are written down somewhere you see them often?
3. Is it easy for you to make decisions about how to spend your time?
4. Can you predict what others would say about you if asked to describe you?
5. Do you like what they’d say?
6. Do you feel like you’re making a contribution to your life, your family, your community, the planet?
7. Do you feel enthusiastic when you wake up in the morning?
8. Are you someone’s hero, mentor, or rock?
9. Do you love, respect and appreciate yourself?
10. If you died tomorrow, did you leave your mark on the world?

I’m the first to admit, life can feel hard. A lot of it is perception, perspective, and attitude, but, at times it’s just down and dirty hard ass. But life is lessons. We’re at school and we’re here to learn. We’re here to seek to understand, gain that understanding which allows for our evolution, enjoy that moment of peace, and then hit the books again. Don’t give up yet my friend, I have a feeling that the best really is yet to come – graduation day lies ahead:)

(p.s. at the risk of appearing kinda cheesy (but I can’t help but mention) I am teaching a workshop on Life Design because I really do believe it’s possible for you to design your life so that you can live the dream. Join me on September 15th. Click HERE for the event details.)

Lots of love and light,

Heather

30 Years 30 Books & a few Nuggets I’ve Picked up Along the Way

1. Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltx
2. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles
3. Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
4. You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor
5. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
6. The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
7. The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
8. Law of Attraction by Michael Losier
9. The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss
10. The Portable Coach by Thomas Leonard
11. Purple Cow by Seth Godin
12. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
13. Women Food and God by Geneen Roth
14. The EMyth by Michael Gerber
15. Strengths Finder by Tom Rath
16. The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
17. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
18. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
19. The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle
20. A New Earth by Eckart Tolle
21. The One Minute Millionaire by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert G. Allen
22. Walk the Talk by Erick Harvey and Steve Ventura
23. Loyalty to Your Soul by H. Ronald Hulnick & Mary R. Hulnick
24. The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson
25. Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr
26. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
27. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
28. The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma
29. Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette
30. The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

The Nuggets

• Tell the truth

Every time you change or alter the truth, you send a strong message to yourself that says something like “I’m not good enough”. It’s a misconception most of us humans are walking around with. The funny thing is, when you start telling the blunt, honest truth – you’ll notice that people don’t actually blow up in front of you (like you thought they might), in fact there is rarely much of a reaction at all. Try it – you’ll probably surprise yourself. Don’t add a zero or take off a stone to make whatever you’re saying sound better. YOU are amazing just the way you are.

• You’re on your own but you’re not alone

This may seem like kind of a contradiction, but let me explain. First of all – you’re on your own – what I mean is that your life is really up to you. Shitty childhoods, abuse, poor treatment – nothing to be taken lightly – it DID shape who you are, but the real question you need to ask yourself is ‘what am I going to do about it now?’. No one is going to make your decisions, heal your heart, train your body, feed your mind or take the steps – it’s up to you. If you want it, don’t want it, need it, desire it – get busy missy (or mister) because no one can live your life for you. BUT, you’re not alone. Reach out – many have gone before us for the purpose to blaze the trail, speak from experience, provide guidance and wisdom and insight for the taking- and as for your inner world – you are never alone there either. You have an amazing inner guidance system, angels helping you navigate your path, a guardian angel and many many more spirit guides who are there simply waiting for you to call on them for support, wisdom, reassurance, love and light as you walk down the journey of your life.

• Take Responsibility for YOUR life

If you are willing to take 100% responsibility for every single moment of your life – even the ones that you don’t understand, weren’t your fault and that you perceivably had no control over – your life will dramatically change for the better. There are nuggets of gold even in the darkest of moments and even being a victim of the most horrific of treatments gives you an opportunity to experience grace at the deepest level.

• Have Faith

I’m not religious but my spiritual faith is stronger now than it’s ever been. I have experienced moments of profound insight and awareness by opening myself up to the infinite power of faith. With faith all things are possible and purposeful. Faith gives you courage when you’re scared and light when you’re lost.

• Your mind is a powerful tool

Do not take your mind for granted – it is powerful beyond measure. (60,000 thoughts a day – and this is a ‘scientific guess’ at best.) And your mind is not just your brain, not just your thoughts, not just your emotions, not just your cells – it is all of that combined and more. It’s nothing to be taken lightly, and nor should it be taken for granted or left to run itself. You must concede to it’s power, be humbled by it’s abilities and do your best to work with it and it’s great power to support you in reaching your highest potential in this lifetime.

• Beliefs are the root of your manifestations

Ever wonder what’s really creating your reality – look no further than your deep seeded beliefs. What you believe is what you see, whether it’s really there or not. The trick is to learn about how and when beliefs are impregnated in to your system, how to identify when a belief is limiting your development and no longer serving you, how to let go of old beliefs and upload new and improved beliefs in order to continue to advance and grow in your life. (Check out Bruce Lipton’s book & website: The Biology of Belief for more info).

• Thoughts do become things

I can remember a time when my ego driven cynical thoughts balked at this simple, yet profound statement, however, I can assure you – these words are real. Don’t take the words you use or the thoughts you choose lightly or for granted. You are manifesting your own destiny every moment of your life – make certain you are choosing wisely.

• You won’t always know how

It would be nice to see a well laid out blueprint for your life, equipped with perfectly timed rest stops, moments of glorious celebration, when the challenges were to come and the knowing that you will get through them and come out the other side. However, this is simply not LIFE. You won’t always know how things are going to unfold or how you are going to pay rent this month, or how you will reach your goals. But in the end, the how is the least relevant of all of the parts. Instead I suggest you stay focussed on WHAT and WHY – the HOW shows up each and every time.

• Be 100% the authentic YOU

Lord knows I learned this the hard way – and this lesson alone had a lot to do with my 29th year and why it was such a struggle. My whole life, I’ve made decisions based on how it would impact those around me. I did things to achieve others approval, acceptance and love. I didn’t really know what I wanted – because I’d never really asked that question. The question I’d really been asking was- what can I do that will please everyone? WRONG question. You are not doing yourself or anyone else any favours by living to please others. You’re never happy and therefore they’re never really happy either. Take a stand, put yourself first, find the TRUE, the REAL you – polish off that beautiful gemstone and let it shine out for the world to see. NO ONE could ever be you, so I suggest you be.

• Don’t go as often & don’t stay as long

Letting friends go and acknowledging when family is holding you back will likely (if you’re anything like me) be some of the hardest moments of your life. I’m loyal to my core and sometimes I’ve stayed a little too long at the party. I remember voicing this challenge to one of my first coaches, Bob Proctor and he gave me this great nugget of advice. You don’t have to cut people off at the knees (or throw out the baby with the bathwater) but if relationships are no longer serving you – begin the weening process sooner than later. Sometimes they come around, but don’t wait around for that to happen. Instead – don’t go as often & don’t stay as long:)

It’s a first!

Hot Girl (or Guy) at the Dance

So, if you’re a client, or have attended a workshop or have had any contact with me or any of the other Ghost CEO’s you’ll be familiar with this phrase. Yes, I know – it’s kinda edgy and brings up different reactions in different people, but, in business this is the position you want to be in, hands down!

Being the hot girl at the dance means a few things, for example:

1. You have taken 100% responsibility for the success of you and your business. (period!)
2. You are absolutely, positively clear on the kinds of clients you want to work with & the ones you don’t.
3. You NEVER accept clients who give you that little niggly feeling when you meet them, no matter what they’re offering to pay you, or how your mind tries to justify why ‘maybe’ it could work. (Don’t second guess your initial moment of intuition.)
4. You make NO apologies for designing your business and your life to match your natural and optimal way of operating.
5. You have tools ready to use any time you have an emotional reaction towards a prospect who doesn’t fit your model so that you are not overtly affected by them.
6. You are willing to always be engaging in business development activities so that you are never in a position where putting food on the table comes at the expense of taking on clients who don’t fit you or your model.
7. You graciously accept and give thanks for referrals but still don’t accept the referral as a client if they don’t fit your model – no matter who sent them your way.
8. You do not accept poor treatment, aggressive attacks on your credentials or having to justify yourself. If they don’t know how brilliant you are – it’s not your job to convince them.
9. You follow the FIFO model. Fit in or Fuck off. And this is not to be mistaken for being a bitch (or asshole for guys.) This is so that you build a tribe of like-minded clients and leave those who will be energy drains to find their own tribe where they fit. It’s not about making them wrong, it’s simply about being clear on who you accept as a client, and who you don’t.
10. You have an unwavering belief that there is more than enough, in fact an abundant supply, of clients who are a perfect fit for you and your model.

Like many of you, I learned this lesson the hard way (or should I say through experience). In the early days of my businesses, (especially having come out of a corporate environment where the mantra was ‘the customer is always right’) I accepted all kinds of people as clients, most of whom did not fit me or my model. I spent more time convincing them of why I was capable of doing what I knew to do, instead of being brilliant and creating synergy in working together. I would be drained by the end of the day, and from time to time lie in bed at night, questioning myself and my abilities. Though, I would not trade this experience because it gave me so many gifts in learning how I did not want to be in my business and in my life, I do hope my experience will save you some dark moments of inner questioning.

YOU are absolutely positively the most exceptional YOU there is, right now, in this moment! There is a slough of people, prospects and potential clients waiting for you to OWN exactly, precisely what you do, and who you do it for. The more clear you are, the stronger your honing device becomes and before you know it, there will be a line up out your door of eager peeps wanting to work with you.

Become the HOT GIRL at THE DANCE and enjoy the rewards of building a like-minded, soul-centred tribe full of synergistic abundance.

Happy life!

Have a great day!!

First Stop: Foundation

I’m reading Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet right now, and no it’s not a diet book, and no I’m not on a diet. Kris was a fun loving crazy New Yorker living the high-life when at 31 she was diagnosed with Cancer. (Pretty scary shit!) Having gone through the process as an observer of the nasty disease, I can tell you, it’s nothing to fuck around with. My step-dad was the strongest dude I’ve ever known, 6’2″ 230 lbs. and when Cancer was done with him it was shocking to see what was left of his body. But, this isn’t a post about how crazy cancer is.

However, in reading the book, I’ve been reminded of a core issue that I work on everyday to stay ahead of and on top of and in choice of, and that is my foundation. What I mean by my foundation, is the physical level of my life that I lay everyday. I’m talking about sleep, nutrition, hydration, meditation, exercise, and in my case writing.

I’ve slipped off this bandwagon many times before and I will again, but what I know for sure is that I can’t be my best self without this foundation laid and furthermore, I make some pretty questionable decisions when I loose track of this piece and start living off grilled cheese sandwiches and Fresca.

Now, I’m not dissing grilled cheese, (and if you’re in Vancouver, Check out Burgoo - their’s is one of the best I’ve ever had), but, instead I’m talking about grilled cheese being the only option at 9pm when I’ve been running around like a madwoman all day. I mean when I’ve gone 24, 48, 96 hrs. without so much as sniffing a vegetable. I’m talking about the nights where I fall asleep watching the Real Housewives and have nightmares of NeNe breaking in to my apartment and whooping my ass. I’m talking about feeling tired, even when I’ve slept, sad, even when my life is full, angry at someone who I don’t even know…etc. etc. etc.

These are all signs for me that I’ve let my foundation slip and I’m adrift at sea with no anchor. Time to rein it in.

Life is made of up a series of choices. Sometimes we make good ones, other times not so good ones, but, I think we can all agree that when we start letting a slough of bad choices pile up, it isn’t long before a mini earthquake occurs within our life.

Making the choice to lay a solid foundation sometimes require’s that ‘short term pain’ in order to have the longevity you desire. It means grocery shopping at 5pm with all the crazy, hungry people, instead of heading to Cactus Club. It means peeling, chopping, bagging your veggies so you have an on hand supply. It means reading, studying and learning about nutrition so that you can make the best choices for you and your body. It means heading to bed, even when a quick hour of TV sounds kinda nice. It means putting those running shoes on and heading out the door, even when you hear the rain falling outside your window.

If you’ve signed up for living a life of greatness, (Trump Tower style), it’s important that you lay a solid foundation on the physical level. Doing so will tap you in to your infinite power of intellect, intuition, and imagination.

YOU deserve to expand towards infinite potential in your life, but, you need to be building on solid ground.

This week, take a look at your physical level and ask yourself – am I setting myself up for greatness?

And if you’re not, no beating yourself up, feeling bad or any of that crap – just take a baby step and do one thing differently. Before you know it, you’ll be back on track.

Have a great day!!

Time To Go

“The sun sets and rises each day, and it’s the same with the avenues in your life. See the beauty within each sunset in your life, and know that the sun will also rise again tomorrow.” – Doreen Virtue

I remember when I knew that it was time to leave my corporate job…..2 years later I quit. Why did it take me so long? Good question. At first it was because I truly didn’t know what else I could possibly do (fear), how would I pay my bills (fear), what CB would say (fear), what my parents would say (fear), what my colleagues would think of me (fear), blah, blah, blah. The real reason it took me 2 years, was because it took me that long to feel enough pain to wake up to the reality that – it was time to go.

It can be easy to ignore the signs, signals and clues that you’re being bombarded with when the pain isn’t too bad. Looking back, the cold I got every 2 months, the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I rolled over at 5:30am to see that I’d already missed 3 calls, the panic in my mind when I’d run 10, 20, 45 minutes late, the let down I’d feel when I lost an account and saw the reflection on my commission cheque, the dread that would begin Sunday mornings, knowing it was less than 24 hours before I’d start all over again – all signs that it was time to move on.

If you have a feeling that it’s time to go in any area of your life – here’s a few things I learned along my way….

1. Tell the truth – Not to anyone else – just to yourself. Looking back I know that I KNEW it was time to go, but, I was so afraid that I kept shoving the ‘beach ball’ (my knowing) back underneath the water. I consciously didn’t want to look at it, because I was afraid of the inevitable actions I would have to take. Ironically, when we tell ourselves the truth, in that moment a little space opens up in us. That space is like a planted seed and it starts to grow. The universe starts to adjust itself to reflect the reality of your truth! I actually had to DO very little in my reality once I fessed up to myself. Call it serendipity, flow, god, luck, whatever you want. What I know is that there was a FORCE working with and through me that was activated in that moment that I looked myself in the eyes and told myself the truth.

2. Write out your fears. FEAR can be a huge roadblock between you and your dreams, IF, you let it live inside your mind. When you write down your fears, you make them 3D and this process dissipates at least 80% of the bad feelings that fear brings up. By writing down your fear – you gain HUGE insight in to your inner world and by seeing what you’re afraid of, you can start to make 3D changes so that those fears are addressed and taken care of. You don’t want to deny your fear, and you don’t want to slip in to judging your fear (this just complicates things further). You simply want to KNOW your fear. And not unlike having a miscommunication with a good friend – when you get clear about where you went wrong, your new clarity will get you back on the road to actioning what you really want in your life instead of blocking yourself from it.

3. Notice the clues. As I mentioned there were many clues signalling me to notice that my life was not where I wanted it to be. BUT, I didn’t consciously notice them. I let my subconscious run my life and my habitual patterns were in the drivers seat. By becoming aware that there were clues trying to get my attention I started to notice them. At first I tried to justify and be logical, but, eventually I grew in to the understanding that the clues were not there to hurt me, but, instead to enhance the quality of my life.

If you have a little ‘niggly’ or a sense that it’s ‘time to go’ let me also say that sometimes this means it’s simply time to ‘change the dance’. It might not mean that you actually have to ‘leave’ anything other than leave behind your old way of operating that is no longer serving you.

Signs, signals and clues are in our life to act as guidance, bumper bars like in bowling, to make sure we ‘hit the target’ and reach our highest potential in this lifetime. Start with some truth talk and you’re life will begin to flow again, leading you like a river to the ocean – you will be back in alignment with YOU.

Questions and comments are always welcomed.

Lots of love!!

Heather

Stop & Try Something Different

Taking responsibility for your life is no easy task. And amongst everything it requires of us, courage is the most important quality to embrace. Often times, even in my own life, when I notice I’m out of balance or not in alignment, I will first attempt to ignore the brick wall I just ran right in to. I will stand up, dust off, and frankly walk backwards. Not consciously of course, but subconsciously that is what I do. I shy away from the loud internal message that I just received. I justify why I ‘should’ be happy and content where I am. I tell myself all the reasons why I should just stay here, in this comfort zone of what I know. Unfortunately for my head (bleeding from banging in to that brick wall over and over) my soul has other plans.

And I bet your soul has plans for you too!

Plans of great experiences, full of love and life for you to embrace and enjoy. Plans of pain and sorrow – yes, not because your soul wants you to suffer, but because it wants to feel and experience all that life has to offer. Your soul carries no judgement of the experiences in your life – instead it embraces, encompasses and experiences fully each molecule of energy that every moment brings forth.

So when you find yourself awakening, when you realize you’ve run in to the same brick wall, when you feel the trickle of blood running from your forehead – ask yourself – what am I meant to learn? What is the message that this brick wall has for me?

How do you hear the answers of your inner wisdom and guidance?

First – you have to stop.

Second – you have to breathe. You might have to take many breaths. Become your breath. Feel your breath move in and out of your body. Notice your body. Feel your toes, your ears, your heart.

Lastly – you have to listen. Sometimes the voice of your inner wisdom is a soft whisper, so quiet that you can’t hear it unless you are still.

What I know is that brick walls don’t show up to hurt us – they are there as guidance. They deliver the message: this is not the path to go down. They remind us that: there is another path; a more fulfilling path; a path with experiences your soul is desiring to have.

Are you willing to explore what the alternative path could be?

If so, stop and try something different.