Mindset Brings Magic
Last week I had a gal in my office who is in between jobs. She’s incredibly accomplished, talented, smart, hard working and overall has a tonne to offer the world. The challenge however, was her mind-set. The way she was thinking was holding her back from many things. She had, what I call the “this is the way it is” thinking. I asked her at one point if I could be blunt with her, and she responded “yes”. So I told her straight up – “you’re the only thing in the way of you creating the life you want. By thinking that “this is the way it is”, you will continue to see validation of that belief in your circumstances and in your life. If you want out of your “this is the way it is life”, then you’re going to have to start thinking about life in a different way.”
Thankfully, she took it very well. She leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, looked up at me and said “you’re right”.
She left my office, lighter and brighter, but most of all she left aware. I had managed to ‘jolt’ her out of her habitual way of thinking, long enough for her to realize that there was a ‘way’ she was thinking, and if she was going to change the results in her life, she had an opportunity here to take responsibility by changing her ‘way’.
After she left, I thought more about our conversation, and thought back to the days when I had “this is the way it is” thinking. During those days, I was convinced that my life was shit, that it never was going to change, that I’d be overworked and underpaid forever, that I was so hard done by, etc. etc. If I could go back and tell that 19 year old what we were going to accomplish over the next 10 years, I don’t think she would have believed a word of it. And yet, here I am.
Last week, for example, I lived out a lifelong dream and goal when I appeared on television for the first time. I shudder to think how my life would be different if I hadn’t changed my ‘way’ of thinking.
If you’re wondering how to achieve your goals, and live out your wildest dreams, I recommend you do one thing first. Ask yourself if you think in a ‘way’ in which, the achievement of your goals and dreams would validate? Do you believe before you see? If not, it might be time to change your ‘way’.
Have a great day!!
Heather
P.S. Here’s living proof that dreams come true. The clip from my TV debut; Urban Rush where we talk, business, entrepreneurship, gut-check and more:)
Livin The Dream
Natalie Sisson, the Mastermind behind The Suitcase Entrepreneur popped me a note on Twitter last night to find out how my start to 2011 had been. When I replied:
2011 start has been ridiculously amazing. Life and ‘work’ are blending beautifully #livingthedream & #lovingthemoments
she messaged me back to find out why and furthermore she asked for the top 3 things that have made this a #livingthedream year.
I don’t think I need three, as in my mind there is one main reason, one major difference from 2010 and that is:
Partnerships
For years I did my life alone. And even though I’m an incredibly social person I still lived mostly inside my head, convinced that if it was to be, then it was up to me. 2010 was a transformational year, in that I opened myself up to being supported by others. Looking back, it all happened serendipitously and it was staggered throughout the year, but, to begin 2011 surrounded and supported by the most amazing team is certainly the #1 reason I’m living the dream!
My Team:
Personal Coach – Willie Carter
Willie was not a 2010 addition to the team as I’ve been working with her since 2007, however, it is because of Willie that any of the ‘team’ thing even happened. Willie, who I more commonly refer to as my ‘Psychic Surgeon’ has been the most incredible partner in my personal and professional development journeys. She has the most innate way to be curious and ask questions that are so pointed they drill instantly the the heart of the matter, while having this gentle and nurturing aura that would make even the most terrified of people feel safe. She is a guiding force in my life and I couldn’t nor do I want to, imagine life without her.
Personal Assistant – Stephanie Lee
Stephanie is an absolute dream come true! A dream that I actually didn’t think was possible, this time last year, and now a reality I would never live without. She is the most organized person I’ve ever met, she thinks even quicker than I do (and for those that know me, that’s no small feat). She knows exactly what I need before I even know I need it. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her and we’ve never even met in person. She’s completely virtual and yet, I feel her by my side each and everyday!
Personal Trainer – Hannah Fletcher
Last spring I started working with my trainer Hannah when I wanted to get back in to the gym, recover from plaguing injuries and strengthen my body. Never in a million years did I expect to form the partnership and bond that I did. For many years I did fitness on my own. Even when I did lots of aerobics and group fitness, I still felt isolated. With Hannah that has all changed. I feel supported and in partnership with someone who wants the best for me in my physical fitness and in my life. She knows exactly how to bend (not break) me, when to push me harder, and when to let me off the hook. I look forward to seeing her even though I know she’s about to kick my ass. Her knowledge, and expertise combined with her authentic passion for fitness (and life) makes her a tremendous asset and partner. I know for sure, I wouldn’t have gotten here without her.
Housekeeper – Nina
Nina is an absolute godsend. My place is full of windows and the first time she was here (she’s maybe 5′ tall) she cleaned each and every window in this place. I have NO idea how she did it. I’m 5’9″ and I can’t even reach the top of some of these windows. I cannot even begin to describe the changes I’ve experienced in the way I feel, the activities I’m able to accomplish, the excitement I have to come home and/or just to hang out at home, now that I have Nina on board. I never would have predicted that making this kind of change in my life would have had the kind of impact that it did. In a word: incredible.
Chris Flett is also not a 2010 addition, but I just wouldn’t feel right without including him on this list. Chris is really the reason I have the means to employ the team I’ve listed above. Chris has taught me so much about business (and life) I would need a book to go in to it all. The common theme however in working with Chris has been mindset. Chris walks his talk so meticulously, that being in his presence over the past 3 years, I couldn’t help but follow his path. Because of Chris I have a thriving business, shares in a couple other thriving businesses, a cross-section of incredible clients, and opportunities out the wazoola. I’m excited everyday when I get out of bed, and look forward, with energetic anticipation, to what lies ahead.
Life Partner – CB
Absolutely NONE of the above would be possible without the support I get from my incredible partner. Since that first day, 10 years ago, when I saw him, and later moved in with him (YES! It all happened on the same day!) he has been supporting and loving me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. 3 years ago, I’ll never forget walking out on the patio to announce that I was quitting my job and starting a business with a guy he’d never met. He looked over to me and said “Heather, it’s you, you’ll be good at whatever you choose, I’m behind you 100%”. OMG I LOVE him!
Besides these key people I’ve formally listed above, I also have the most amazing friends and family – AND the most amazing network of tremendously talented, intelligent and inspiring colleagues. I’m blessed beyond belief and I truly feel as though I’m living out my fairytale dreams everyday! Here’s to an incredible 2011 and beyond!
Heather
Where’s your safe place?
Last night we had a get together of fabulous women involving 3 important themes: goals, wine and food – now how much better does it get?
Not unlike many gatherings of women that I’ve been to in the past there was definitely an elephant in the room. (And no it wasn’t the unpredictable cat-hehe). And it wasn’t the judgemental, cliquy, walking on eggshells kind of elephant either – thank god for that! No, instead the elephant in the room was simply an air of safety. It was a feeling that each and everyone of us had, one that reassured us that even though we were amongst strangers, (many of us had never met) we were safe. Safe to share our secrets, share our dreams, goals and aspirations, safe to share our fears and vulnerabilities. One gal went above and beyond and sang us all a beautiful song while playing her ukulele. (Big time out of her comfort zone).
The whole evening reminded me that even the most ambitious and accomplished people in the world are still human. And as much as we are so beautifully individual, that human connection is one that unites us all, and allows for beautiful synergies of growth and development.
It also reminded me that in order for human beings to be open, honest, and willing to share, out loud, their innermost thoughts and feelings – they have to feel safe.
I was humbled to come together with such an amazing group of women last night and create an open and safe environment for each of us to be vulnerable, to share, to learn and to grow.
If you’re looking to supercharge your personal development and growth – make sure you too have somewhere safe to go and to share. It makes a huge difference! Check out Brene Brown’s TEDtalk: The Power of Vulnerability for more insight in to this topic.
What I found when I went Easter Egg Hunting
Steffani Cameron’s blog post entitled:
Not For You: Undoing the Undoings, And Writing
I discovered this blog by way of my xmas holiday induced Twitter addiction, where I spend hours each day checking out cool peeps on the net who are intriguing to me. Let’s call it R & D. What I’m looking for is Easter Eggs. Delicious, yummy in my tummy kind of stuff that is found amongst the similarly looking pebbles that are always scattered throughout the garden, whenever one goes hunting for Easter Eggs. In case my analogy didn’t work, I’m on the lookout for genius, thought provoking, energy enhancing colleagues who write and share stuff on the net that ultimately makes me feel really, really good. (Kinda like chocolate).
So, back to Steff and her blog…
In a word: profound
Her blog is bluntly honest – just what I like, bluntly authentic – also love that, and bluntly blunt – now this inspires me. WARNING to my readers, Steff writes like I speak, with a lot of enthusiastic and ‘point making’ profanity, so if you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this one. Otherwise – blaze on and check her work out – she’s a talented writer, and if you’re like me, she’ll get you thinking which is always a good thing.
Hover over this line with your cursor & click on it to be taken to Steff’s blog.
So what did I get to thinking you ask? Simply, I want to be profound. Even though I do want to post blog’s that “fill you with happy fuzzy thoughts about the world at large, or self-help guru shit” something Steff vows not to do, I want to do it in a profound way. I want to do it in an honest, authentic and blunt (not rude, just to the point) kind of way. A way that gets you thinking. Kinda like the way she got me thinking.
Question: How do I write profoundly?
Answer: Writing really good stuff requires more than the “OMG hold on, I’m being inspired and I have to go write” fleeting moments. It requires the discipline to set up a routine of creation. (I made that term up, but what I mean is, if you want to create profound blog posts, you need to set up a routine, for where and when you write (create)). In Steff’s words “instead of thinking a thought, write it”. The only difference between thinking profoundly, speaking profoundly (2 things I’ve been told I do) and writing profoundly is to write it. Right!
Ok, so here I go. Public declaration – the ultimate accountability partner. I’m going to set up a routine of creation. I’m not really sure how that’s going to look just yet, but, what I do promise is that I’ll post it up just as soon as I do. I think Steff is on to something here and I’m excited to go along for the ride.
Stay tuned, coming up:
Profound (hopefully!)
Happy Hunting!
Am I setting the Wrong Goals?
A recent question from a loyal follower:
“Being a new grad, I am constantly doing what I love most: coming up with action plans to reach my professional goals. But like most new grads, my life keeps changing in the blink of an eye, and it seems like the minute I settle on an action plan or professional goal, something drastic changes and I have to set a new goal, or make a new plan. Does this mean I’m setting the wrong goals? Making a plan that’s too specific?”
My response:
First of all – kudos to you, since from my perspective you’ve got one thing nailed “you are constantly doing what you LOVE‘! This is a point not to be ignored. Interestingly, your life (the constant change) seems to allow for you to have the opportunity to come up with new plans all the time – a coincidence? I think not!
The fact that (unless I’m mis-reading this) you spend a good part of your time ‘feeling good’ because you’re doing what you love is phenomenal. If more people got on this plan – the world would be a better place. Your ability to adapt, change, regroup, and retry is a developing skill-set that will serve you well in all your present and future endeavours. Because as humans we are creatures of habit (our greatest asset and biggest curse), our ability to change quickly and adapt often can get lost, because ‘staying the same’ appears to be easier and a less resistant path. You, perhaps without realizing, appear to be honing and tempering what will likely serve you in a major way – your openness to embrace change, set new goals and adjust your plan.
The fact that you still apply what are foundational steps (setting goals, writing out your plan and taking action) even when things change quickly, is noteworthy.
Life is not supposed to ‘look’ a certain way, but being alive definitely ‘feels’ a certain way.
From the outside looking in, I think you’re off to a great start! Trust your feelings – they are your greatest clue and best marker to know whether or not you’re on track. Keep doing what you love! A few more notes below to keep you grounded and plugging away.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others or to a ‘certain way’.
Just because things seem to be moving quickly and changing even quicker, doesn’t mean anything is ‘wrong’. It just is what it is. Stay true to yourself and true to what’s working for you. Setting your own goals and writing out your own plans will keep you aware and focussed while helping you navigate a path of development. Embrace your life and the way you choose to live it – you know better than anyone what makes you feel alive – if nothing else, keep chasing that feeling.
2. Don’t judge yourself, be hard on yourself, or get down on yourself. (And if/when you do, don’t judge yourself for that either:)
Your life is your life, no one else’s. Don’t live it for anyone else. Don’t try to please anyone else. Don’t try to impress anyone else. Live your life in a way that makes you FEEL amazing. If you don’t feel amazing, make whatever changes necessary to get back to that feeling.
3. Build a strong relationship with yourself. Trust yourself and your own wisdom.
I know it might be hard to accept but YOU are your greatest resource and wisest advisor. Look within when you seek answers to your deepest questions. Trust your answers, trust your guidance and follow your own advice.
Thank you to A.B. for a wonderful question and an opportunity for me to add my two-bits. Keep em coming!
-HW
Rules to Live By
1. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
“Be yourself – everyone else is taken” -Gail Larsen
It’s important to set your own goals and compare yourself and your progress to the outcome of your desires. If you slip in to the trap of comparing yourself to others – it’s hard to get out.
2. Don’t resist your emotions.
Simply put, your emotions are clues. Use them to your advantage to sleuth out what’s adding value to your life and supporting your highest good (feeling good) and what needs to be tweaked, ditched or changed because your not feeling great. Your emotions always tell the truth – acknowledge them, consider them, embrace them.
3. Take 100% responsibility for yourself and your life.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the reasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn
Beyond Pink
I had the great honour and privilege to speak on Day 1 of Beyond Pink 2010 (#bp2010) and I was so incredibly energized by the whole experience.
Confession #1: The day before the conference I still didn’t feel convinced on what I was going to present. I knew the content I wanted to share (lessons I’ve learned that I think could help others), but, it was more a question of which context? what stories? – I’ve learned so much – which is the most important? what really matters to a 22 yr. old? what will really help them? what do they need to hear?
In reflection, I’m so shocked at how much of a ‘fear’ mode I entered in to when I was in preparing because I was ‘Worrying, stressing, over-thinking etc.’ I wanted so badly to present something amazing, inspirational, life changing, magical….I almost forgot, what they wanted most to hear was ‘how’? How I did it, and how I thought they could do it. All I had to do was tell the truth, tell my story, and be myself – I feel a “that was easy” Staples button push at this moment and I’m sure the 48 hrs leading up to my presentation could have been a lot smoother if I had made this realization a little earlier. But hey, these are the growing ‘pains’ of life.
When I arrived at Beyond Pink, as usual I was blown away. These ladies had put together a meticulously organized event with authentically energized volunteers – it was an amazing experience! They had all the details covered and as a speaker, I’ve been to many conferences – these girls took such amazing care of me – it was definitely a ‘rock star’ feeling – thank you!!!
When I saw how they had so cleverly organized the speaker sessions, of which conference attendees got to choose which sessions they’d go to – I hit major panic mode. Confession # 2 – I saw the bowl for my session and there were only 3 tabs inside to which I assumed (MAJOR MISTAKE) that only 3 people wanted to come to my session. I had an egoic moment where I questioned my entire existence on the planet, and quickly snapped myself back to earth and affirmed the thought ‘I trust that the right people will be in the room for the right reasons and if that is only 3 people – then that is the way it is meant to be.”
It turns out the bowl for my session was originally filled with the # of spots that could be accommodated in the room, and the 3 tabs inside my bowl meant my workshop was practically sold out. (It was a great reminder for me (and to anyone reading this) to not make assumptions!!)
Confession #3: I think I got more out of the experience than anyone. I don’t think there is anything more validating than when people spend time to learn how you’ve navigated your life path with genuine curiosity. The mistakes, the triumphs, the truth. Thank you so much to YWIB and all the amazing women who I met at Beyond Pink 2010. You all left a definite MARK on my heart.
Much love!
Heather
Faith
“Faith is the ability to see the invisible – to believe in the incredible. That is what enables you to receive what the masses think is impossible.” – Clarence Smithison
When embarking on reaching goals, fulfilling dreams and seeing visions come in to reality you HAVE to have faith. I don’t care if that means you believe in God, Angels, Spirit Guides, Your Higher Self, Intuition, Quantum Physics, Natural Universal Law - I could go on, but, I’m sure you get the point. Faith is that little part of you that KNOWS you will be ok, you will succeed, you are amazing, rewards are on the horizon etc. It’s the part of you that believes BEFORE you see. It is the part of you that will propel you when all else fails and console you when you simply don’t understand…WHY?
Let’s face it – we’re humans and SHIT does happen in our lives. Loved ones pass on, jobs are lost, money can be tight, finances stressful, relationships come together and fall apart, but, somewhere amongst all of that, we have faith. Faith that even though we might not understand, we might not appreciate this moment, we might feel like giving up, BUT, we don’t. Why? Because there is still that little part of us that knows – in spite of it all – everything is going to be ok, and we HAVE to keep going.
Keep going, keep striving, keep believing and keep having FAITH. In good times, in bad times, FAITH is the one thing you can always lean in to for some support. You relish in it when things are amazing and you’re thinking to yourself – ‘man, my life is amazing, I’m so lucky, I’m so in love, I’m so inspired and I’m so happy to be alive!’ and you call upon it when you’re thinking to yourself – ‘man, my life sucks, why am I bothering, why do I try so hard, why are people stupid, why am I a failure, what’s wrong with me?’.
FAITH – you just have to have it!
All the best,
Heather
If you’re an albatross – don’t try to run with the turkeys
I am a HUGE fan and advocate for Goal Setting and earlier this week I was with a group of trailblazing professional women (and one great male facilitator) talking about defining our vision and setting goals. One thing that came up was the concept of sharing your goals with others – a powerful step in the process of achieving goals. However, it did remind me of a clarification I’ve made to this concept over the years. WHO you share with, is just as important as sharing at all.
You have to consider your audience. If the people in your circle don’t think like you, or don’t have the same kind of loftiness to their life vision, you may be let down by their feedback. I remember when I started to share with my inner circle how I was leaving my corporate job and starting a company with a new business partner I’d only known for 6 months. I was on cloud 9, excited with anticipation, scared and giddy all at the same time. But when I started sharing the news – I was shocked when some of the people who I thought would be the most supportive, were the ones being skeptical, asking me if I’d really thought this through, wouldn’t it be easier to start slowly, didn’t I know we were entering into a recession, this isn’t a good time to start a business, maybe I should keep my day job until I knew for sure that I would be successful. In retrospect, of course I logically understand their fear. They didn’t want to see me go through pain, pain that they believed I was setting myself up for. In my mind, because of the way I think, I didn’t see the same risk on the horizon that they saw. They were not wrong and I was not right (well actually it turns out I was right, but…that’s not the point in this case) we just saw a different picture, we were considering the same ‘idea’ from different perspectives.
Sharing your goals with people who will support you and hold you accountable to doing what it takes to make your dreams come true is a must. Many doors have been opened, introductions made and opportunities presented to, me simply because I shared what I was doing, where I was going and what help I needed. My only caution would be to consider the questions: Do they think like me? Do they dream big like me? Can they and will they support me?
“Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” - W. Clement Stone
Nature Speaks
For those whom know me well it will come as no surprise to hear that I’m not much of a camper. In fact, even the new term ‘glamping’ – derived from the concept of glamorous camping, doesn’t really appeal to me. (I’m more of a Fairmont kinda girl.) But, similarly to the time in my life where I realized that I could be spiritual without being religious, this summer drew my attention to the fact that I can still be a nature loving freak, without having to sleep on the ground. (Thank god for that!)
Because for me, nature is my church, and this summer I had the most amazing opportunities to experience this vast place of worship. From the top of Kicking Horse Mountain to my family homestead in Heatherdown Alberta, I spent some of the most rejuvenating days, simply breathing in the beauty that is all around us on this spectacular planet. (I even played a round of golf by myself in Golden BC – what an amazing experience!)
Out in the fresh air, all by myself, I couldn’t help but have moments of profound insight. I could decipher the voice of my true self from that of my capitalist ego (although I do like that part of myself too!) and I gained some much needed clarity in many areas of my life.
3 years ago, almost to the day, was when I made the decision to walk away from my corporate life, my cushy benefit package, my car allowance, and of course my expense account, to pursue a life that I had once only imagined. To become an entrepreneur, start companies, travel, make tonnes of money, work when it suited me and have 100% control over my life. At first, (about the first 18 months) I was running uphill – not really because it was necessary to work as hard as I was, but I think more because I was somewhat accustomed to a ‘pace’ that in my mind would equal success (and of course income – as that was what I needed the most at that time). Today I look back at myself and I am incredibly proud. The tenacity and work ethic I exuded was one of a determined, fail? – not an option, kind of Marshall Mathers persona. This served me well. On the days when I wondered if I was going to make it at all, I was even more motivated and on the days where success fell in to my lap, I felt it was all worth it.
Then I woke up, some 3 years later, (earlier this year) to realize – wowza – that life that I ‘imagined’, the one I had been busting my balls for, it was here. And although, in theory, this should be grounds for an enormous celebration, I kinda felt lost again. Because the real truth about goal setting isn’t about the achievement of goals at all, it’s about setting goals that are so inspiring to you, that you awaken this incredible life force energy within every cell of your being, propelling you forward, through hoops and over mountains in hot pursuit of those goals you desire to achieve. Once achieved, however, your life force energy starts to drift away, and this is a major clue to remind you (and me, in this case) it’s time for some new goals.
So, in the spring of this year, I set an intention. I wanted to spend some much needed time with myself, in my place of worship (nature), in order to re-ignite my burning desire to pursue a new destination, new dreams and new goals. What transpired was a summer of magical encounters leaving me full of ideas, insights, inspirations and of course – goals.
So for anyone out there who is itchy, searching, curiously exploring or knowing they need some new inspiration to awaken within them, the passion, the drive, the tenacity that has seemed to slip away – take a time out, be with yourself, ask yourself the hard questions, LISTEN for the answers that bubble to the surface of your mind, and buckle up, because if your experience is anything like mine has been – you’re in for an exciting ride!!
