Go Back To Move Forward

Dig deep. The answers are within you.

I don’t think there is anyone walking this planet who is not wanting to know the answers to the most fundamental questions:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What am I supposed to be doing?

And yet, it seems we all begin our search for these answers by going outside ourselves. We let the outside world answer these questions for us, when they simply don’t know – they’re guessing. The irony in our quest is that we came to this planet, to our life, already knowing the answers to our questions. We’ve simply forgotten and our job is to remember.

I can imagine this might sound a little ‘woowoo’ or ‘airy fairy’ and hey, I’m not trying to convince you of anything that doesn’t resonate with you. I just know, having worked my ass off for the first 25 years of my life, doing everything ‘right’ (top marks in school, top athlete, unconditional acceptance to university, great corporate job) that I was miserable, depressed, angry, frustrated and fed up. And I was still searching for the answers to these basic questions.

And let me tell you, I was SO resistant to this idea of inner work in the beginning. But at some point my pain outgrew my pride. I woke up to the realization that what I was doing wasn’t working anyway, so it probably wouldn’t hurt to try a new approach. And so I started to dig in, to jog my memory.

What I learned was that I was exactly who I was supposed to be. And furthermore that I was enough, just as I was.

And the same is true for you.

You don’t need one more course, or to read one more book, or talk to one more person or redo your resume one more time.

You need time with you. Time in quiet reflection. Time in nature. Time in silence.

You need to go back to the essence of who you are, who you came here to be, so that you can move forward in your life as the REAL you.

I know this process can feel like a struggle. And at times you’ll want to scream “just give me the answer, tell me what to do”, but I promise you, if you work in the same diligent, committed manor that you do every other area of your life – the answers will come. Try not to second guess them. And don’t be fooled by their simplicity. You are not going to have a million dollar idea. You are going to remember the essence of your true self. You are going to re-align yourself with your heart’s true desires. You are going to connect with your soul’s purpose.

Write down the answers you receive. Write down the guidance that comes to you. Catch that fleeting thought that just skipped across your mind and write that down too.

If you need any help, just let me know. Write me a note, leave a comment or give me a call.

Enjoy the process,

Heather

We don’t always know HOW & we don’t always know WHEN

The important things to know are WHAT? and WHY?

For example this past weekend I was beyond excited when my new kitchen table arrived (Thanks Mum!!). I have been working towards this manifestation for quite a while now. On various occasions I got caught up in the how and when only to be reminded that these were the wrong questions to be asking, since I didn’t know the answer. Therefore every time I asked when or how, it was easy to slip down the slope of “I don’t know” and then in to a feeling of doubt and worry as my mind grasped for answers that weren’t there. Instead when I stayed focussed on what and why, I could go on for hours answering those questions happily in my mind. These questions kept me in a creative space, easily generating ideas and answers that kept me feeling excited, enthusiastic, and creative. My mind would dance from one thought to the next, like a skipping rock along a smooth water surface.

Why do I want a kitchen table…

Because I want to be more conscious and intentional around eating time.
Because I want to invite friends and family over to enjoy meals together.
Because I want to have meaningful conversations with my other half after our long days apart.
Because I want to create more of a ‘homey’ feeling in my apartment.
Because I want to stare out at the view of the ocean and mountains when I’m eating.
Because I want a place at home to do my morning pages (and other writing) when I wake up in the morning as I enjoy the first moments of the day.

I could really go on and on – but I think you get the picture:)

Are you stuck worrying about how things are going to unfold? How you’ll reach your goal? How you’ll fix a problem? Or what about when? When will things be the way you want?

Let me make a suggestion. Instead of asking your mind questions it doesn’t know the answer to – try a different approach.

Get more and more clear and specific about WHAT it is that you are wanting or desiring.

Then ask about why?

I bet you’ll be pleased with the difference in the answers you get and even more so in the way you feel. I know I was.

You Can’t Win If You Don’t Buy a Ticket

You can’t hear yes if you don’t ask.

You can’t be published if you don’t create.

You can’t be seen if you don’t attend.

You can’t be remembered if you don’t make an impact.

You can’t live your dream if you don’t imagine.

You can’t have fun if you don’t play.

You can’t be inspired if you’re not open.

Buy a ticket, ask the question, attend the party, create, imagine, play, inspire – LIVE. Life is a game, bravely abandon the sidelines, experience the highest of highs, and yes the lowest of lows. Feel it, embrace it, enjoy it.

Courage is not Fearlessness

I’ve been watching Shania Twain’s “Why Not” documentary  on OWN, that follows her as she works through her fears and attempts to regain her voice. It’s been a fascinating show and I commend her in so many ways for not only being brave within her own life but also for being willing to share this story with all of us – the ultimate connection and learning experience.

She forms a strong bond with Dr. Livingston, a Psycho-therapist specializing in grief counselling (I balled when I heard his personal story) who counsels her a few times on the show. It is him who says something to the effect that courage is not fearlessness, but instead it’s moving forward, taking actions, EVEN when you’re scared. This comment resonated with me on so many levels.

As many of you know I recently did a video series with my pal Natalie Sisson (The Suitcase Entrepreneur) called the Fearless Factor – and although the messages are totally in line with Livingston’s point – we did after all use the word Fearless. And I think on some level we all wish and hope for the day where fear won’t be present in our life – but yet on another level we know it simply will be part of the journey, if we’re living a life of conscious development.

Emotions/ feelings are not something we have a tremendous amount of control over. Sure it would be nice to think we did, but really, why is it so important to be in control? After all, our feelings are not WHO we are – they are simply an expression of energy that our system releases based on it’s reaction to real and sometimes only perceived circumstances. Isn’t it more powerful to simply notice them, accept them, embrace them, welcome them, and ultimately learn from them…? I hope so, because that’s the route I’ve chosen.

Have you moved forward in your life, even when you’ve been afraid? I bet you have!

And although I too have linked arms with my fear and moved forward in my life many times, it’s been the observation of 2 other amazing individuals that are the true inspiration for my moments of courage.

My Step-Dad Alvin – dying in his hospital bed, he continued to pursue his passion of shopping, albeit online, and his gifts arrived via fedex long after his passing. In fact on Christmas Eve almost a year after his death, my Mum received a package in the mail – it was a camera, a gift from Alvin that he had bought for her – he had kept moving EVEN though he was scared – he had displayed the ultimate act of courage (and love and compassion – I might add).

My Mum – facing life as the widowed mother of 4, alone, she sold her dream home, moved her entire life from one city to another, started back to work full time, made new friends, did life differently – she kept moving EVEN though she was scared – she had courage.

I’m sure we all know someone or have ourselves faced circumstances that would scare the bejesus out of the toughest of men (whether or not they freely expressed their emotions). And what I was reminded when I watched Shania’s documentary was that every human experiences the feeling of fear. It’s ok to be scared. We’re all scared. But by MOVING forward EVEN when we’re scared we are courageous and it is our courage that ultimately inspires others.

Thank you Shania, thank you Alvin, thank you Mum and thank you all of YOU, my readers. May you all feel the unconditional love and support of the human journey as you experience your fears, and move forward EVEN when you’re scared.

Decisions Decisions…& Fireflies

As a trusted advisor, I have anywhere between 40-80 meetings a week where I am privy to the inner thoughts, desires, goals (and yes fears) of my clients and those curious about being my client (I know – it’s such an honour!). But regardless of the conversation topic, I would say 90% of the time, clients are looking to make a decision and wanting me to weigh in from my perspective. (I still pinch myself because I really do get paid to do what I love – speak my mind and give my opinion – halleluja sweet baby Jesus!) However, very rarely will I emphatically tell a client what to do. Instead I normally first ask “what does your gut say”? Nine times out of ten, they know the decision (maybe only subconsciously) they want to make, and rather than be told what to do, what they really need is just permission to trust themselves. (I have to mention though, the other day, when I asked someone ‘what does your gut say’ they responded with ‘oh my god, I don’t know, I get indigestion, when I do a gut check!’ – ok then…)

Once in a while, however, clients really are stuck and looking for some concrete suggestion on what to do, in which case I’ll say “if I were you, I would…” and not only tell them what I would do, but more importantly why. Again, it’s important to me, not to do the work for my clients, but instead to bumper bar them to a place where they are able to gather enough information to make a solid decision, grounded in their authentic truth and stemming from their own desires.

There’s no question, that making decisions can be challenging, and especially those of us with strong minds, capable of ping ponging the varying choices back and forth making ourselves close to crazy, so let me give you a little formula I use whenever I am looking to make a decision.

• Gut Check – (hopefully you don’t get indigestion when you do this.) Now, truth be told, many people toss the term ‘gut check’ around without really doing it properly. A gut check is really about checking in with your body – specifically the area in your belly (where your 2nd chakra lives – the chakra re: relationship to anything). In this case your gut check is to sense, and or feel, your relationship to the decision you’re making. You are looking to feel resonance, perhaps even enthusiastic excitement (feels like champagne bubbles) with the decision. For example, if you were trying to decide between whether to take on this particular new project, when you do a ‘gut check’ you’re feeling the difference in your belly when you think a – take on new project, or b – don’t take on new project. If you TRULY tap in to your body – you will feel the difference. The only other thing you have to do is TRUST your body’s messaging. (Seems to be the most challenging for indecisive libras:)

• Write down the decision you are trying to make. (It will likely be in the form of a question – should I ….?) You’ve heard me say this before – making it 3D – i.e. writing it out sends a loud and clear message to your subconscious, the universe, and your reticular activating system in your brain – that you are looking for some specific information, some concrete feedback.

• Track the clues. Once you’ve written your question down you need to be SUPER observant, open (i.e. don’t judge the clues as they show up) and prepared to document the information that is going to be coming your way. And you DON’T make a decision when the first clue shows up. Track your clues for at least 48 hours before you sit down to review everything objectively.

• After a few days, sit down, take a look at the clues that have come your way. Most likely your decision will be obvious, but do a second gut check to be sure.

• Get support. Often times when you’re going through this much work to make a decision, it’s because some part of you is scared to do what another part of you knows is necessary. Once you’re clear on your decision (not when you’re still deciding) reach out to those who will support you in taking the necessary steps the decision will require of you. Keep in mind that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and just because you know what decision you will make, doesn’t mean you have to go racing in to action. You have to honour all parts of yourself (especially the part that’s likely scared) and give yourself the time and space to do what you have to do.

I remember when I was trying to decide whether to take Chris Flett up on his offer to fund my start up or stay with my cushy 6 figure job. I was distraught. I wrote down the question and headed off to a weekend at Harrison Lake with friends. I was praying for signs and clues. One evening after dinner we headed out on the lake to do some fishing. We shut off the boat and were fishing away when one of my girlfriends started freaking out. “Heather, what the hell is going on?????” (Now I have witnesses to this story, otherwise, I know you’d think I was crazy, and they’ve all agreed to testify:)

Above my head, in a perfect line, only nature could provide, was a plume of fireflies. They hovered above me as if they carried an important message. (Oh yeah, I knew what the message was). But no one else there had any idea of this HUGE life changing decision I was wrestling with. My friend quickly turned on the boat, almost scared by this incredible sight, and said “lets see what happens when we drive away?”. So we criss-crossed the boat all around the lake, and that plume of fireflies stayed right inline with the crown of my head, as if crazy glue held them in place.

I couldn’t argue, justify or become logical about this loud clue. My gut check confirmed what this display of nature indicated. Decision was made. Monday morning I put my notice in and I haven’t looked back since.

Making big decisions (and even little decisions) can be challenging. Let me know if this formula gives you some help in the process?

Creating The Space

I’m reading Julia Cameron’s memoir ‘floor sample’ and although I’m an avid reader, rarely do I burn through pages in the way I have this time. I just can’t seem to put it down and although I haven’t turned totally crazy and not left my house in favour of her words, I come home with anticipation of jumping in to bed and delving in to the next leg of her journey. I have a 100 pages to go and now I’m getting to the point of ‘slow play’ because I just don’t want it to end.

Julia Cameron is the author of two of my most favourite books The Artist’s Way & The Right to Write and in reading her memoir I’ve had many insights and moments of inspiration. Hearing her description of transforming from an ego driven ‘writer’ to a spirit channeling artist reminds me of similar moments of reflection I’ve had in my own journey with words. There are days I stare at my blank screen knowing I have to churn out a 1000 word article for a magazine deadline, and then other days when I can’t grab my notebook fast enough to simply document what I’m hearing (in my mind) – pure genius words that are certainly not mine, nor are they me – those days when I’m the scribe are the most profound and moving. I often go back and read  my writing only to be inspired and to learn from the words that illusively appeared on the page. These moments are pure magic.

I do feel, even in my writing assignments for the magazines I write for, that I’ve dropped the ‘ego’ part of it. I ask my higher self, my guides – what do people need to hear, how can I be a vehicle for their learning, their growth, their awakening? But compared to free form, and channeled writing days – it pales in comparison as I’m still doing a lot of ‘thinking’.

In reflection of reading this most recent work of Julia’s I am having yet another moment of vulnerability as I admit, if only to myself, an artist is who I am at my core – I think it’s who we all are. So what is stopping the flow? Why does it still seem like there is something to ‘do’, somewhere to ‘go’, something to ‘learn’ before I can truly embrace and channel this genius mind of infinite wisdom and intelligence that we all have access to??

Last night I had a dream (it felt like a nightmare at the time) where I think I received my answer. I won’t go in to the details of the dream, since in the end, it’s only the message that’s truly relevant.

The answer: creative space.

For years, I’ve kept my home (incredibly clean & organized – I’m a neat freak), sparse – more hotel room like, only the functional stuff present. Somewhere to sit, somewhere to sleep, somewhere to eat – but I have denied myself any specialness or beauty within my space. A space created for creativity – a space to channel the infinite beauty and wisdom of the collective mind. Aha! In my dream I was shown 2 contrasting realities. One dark, dismal, almost scary like space and one bright, joy filled, music filled space of levity, play and fun. Hmm….

So despite my fear and anxiety in declaring myself an artist (does that mean I must produce beautiful work?? or be compared to those who are great in exemplifying this title?? – ego trip!) I’m going for it. I acknowledge that this is where I feel the most expansive, the most enthusiastic, the most present, the most alive. In the being-ness of creativity is where I want to spend my time – this feels good.

So my next move is creation. Creation of a space which allows for the flow, the levity, the moments of pure channeling – channeling the presence of genius. Not of me, but through me.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress and let you know if the creation of a creative space is truly the missing link I’ve been longing for….until then…H/

30 Years 30 Books & a few Nuggets I’ve Picked up Along the Way

1. Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltx
2. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles
3. Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
4. You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor
5. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
6. The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
7. The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
8. Law of Attraction by Michael Losier
9. The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss
10. The Portable Coach by Thomas Leonard
11. Purple Cow by Seth Godin
12. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
13. Women Food and God by Geneen Roth
14. The EMyth by Michael Gerber
15. Strengths Finder by Tom Rath
16. The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
17. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
18. Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
19. The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle
20. A New Earth by Eckart Tolle
21. The One Minute Millionaire by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert G. Allen
22. Walk the Talk by Erick Harvey and Steve Ventura
23. Loyalty to Your Soul by H. Ronald Hulnick & Mary R. Hulnick
24. The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson
25. Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr
26. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
27. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
28. The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma
29. Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette
30. The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

The Nuggets

• Tell the truth

Every time you change or alter the truth, you send a strong message to yourself that says something like “I’m not good enough”. It’s a misconception most of us humans are walking around with. The funny thing is, when you start telling the blunt, honest truth – you’ll notice that people don’t actually blow up in front of you (like you thought they might), in fact there is rarely much of a reaction at all. Try it – you’ll probably surprise yourself. Don’t add a zero or take off a stone to make whatever you’re saying sound better. YOU are amazing just the way you are.

• You’re on your own but you’re not alone

This may seem like kind of a contradiction, but let me explain. First of all – you’re on your own – what I mean is that your life is really up to you. Shitty childhoods, abuse, poor treatment – nothing to be taken lightly – it DID shape who you are, but the real question you need to ask yourself is ‘what am I going to do about it now?’. No one is going to make your decisions, heal your heart, train your body, feed your mind or take the steps – it’s up to you. If you want it, don’t want it, need it, desire it – get busy missy (or mister) because no one can live your life for you. BUT, you’re not alone. Reach out – many have gone before us for the purpose to blaze the trail, speak from experience, provide guidance and wisdom and insight for the taking- and as for your inner world – you are never alone there either. You have an amazing inner guidance system, angels helping you navigate your path, a guardian angel and many many more spirit guides who are there simply waiting for you to call on them for support, wisdom, reassurance, love and light as you walk down the journey of your life.

• Take Responsibility for YOUR life

If you are willing to take 100% responsibility for every single moment of your life – even the ones that you don’t understand, weren’t your fault and that you perceivably had no control over – your life will dramatically change for the better. There are nuggets of gold even in the darkest of moments and even being a victim of the most horrific of treatments gives you an opportunity to experience grace at the deepest level.

• Have Faith

I’m not religious but my spiritual faith is stronger now than it’s ever been. I have experienced moments of profound insight and awareness by opening myself up to the infinite power of faith. With faith all things are possible and purposeful. Faith gives you courage when you’re scared and light when you’re lost.

• Your mind is a powerful tool

Do not take your mind for granted – it is powerful beyond measure. (60,000 thoughts a day – and this is a ‘scientific guess’ at best.) And your mind is not just your brain, not just your thoughts, not just your emotions, not just your cells – it is all of that combined and more. It’s nothing to be taken lightly, and nor should it be taken for granted or left to run itself. You must concede to it’s power, be humbled by it’s abilities and do your best to work with it and it’s great power to support you in reaching your highest potential in this lifetime.

• Beliefs are the root of your manifestations

Ever wonder what’s really creating your reality – look no further than your deep seeded beliefs. What you believe is what you see, whether it’s really there or not. The trick is to learn about how and when beliefs are impregnated in to your system, how to identify when a belief is limiting your development and no longer serving you, how to let go of old beliefs and upload new and improved beliefs in order to continue to advance and grow in your life. (Check out Bruce Lipton’s book & website: The Biology of Belief for more info).

• Thoughts do become things

I can remember a time when my ego driven cynical thoughts balked at this simple, yet profound statement, however, I can assure you – these words are real. Don’t take the words you use or the thoughts you choose lightly or for granted. You are manifesting your own destiny every moment of your life – make certain you are choosing wisely.

• You won’t always know how

It would be nice to see a well laid out blueprint for your life, equipped with perfectly timed rest stops, moments of glorious celebration, when the challenges were to come and the knowing that you will get through them and come out the other side. However, this is simply not LIFE. You won’t always know how things are going to unfold or how you are going to pay rent this month, or how you will reach your goals. But in the end, the how is the least relevant of all of the parts. Instead I suggest you stay focussed on WHAT and WHY – the HOW shows up each and every time.

• Be 100% the authentic YOU

Lord knows I learned this the hard way – and this lesson alone had a lot to do with my 29th year and why it was such a struggle. My whole life, I’ve made decisions based on how it would impact those around me. I did things to achieve others approval, acceptance and love. I didn’t really know what I wanted – because I’d never really asked that question. The question I’d really been asking was- what can I do that will please everyone? WRONG question. You are not doing yourself or anyone else any favours by living to please others. You’re never happy and therefore they’re never really happy either. Take a stand, put yourself first, find the TRUE, the REAL you – polish off that beautiful gemstone and let it shine out for the world to see. NO ONE could ever be you, so I suggest you be.

• Don’t go as often & don’t stay as long

Letting friends go and acknowledging when family is holding you back will likely (if you’re anything like me) be some of the hardest moments of your life. I’m loyal to my core and sometimes I’ve stayed a little too long at the party. I remember voicing this challenge to one of my first coaches, Bob Proctor and he gave me this great nugget of advice. You don’t have to cut people off at the knees (or throw out the baby with the bathwater) but if relationships are no longer serving you – begin the weening process sooner than later. Sometimes they come around, but don’t wait around for that to happen. Instead – don’t go as often & don’t stay as long:)

Turning 30 or Going Crazy???

“NO ONE has their sh** together all the time.
 You don’t.  I don’t.  They don’t.” – Tia Sparkles Singh

Firstly I have to say a big THANK YOU to my pal Tia (quoted above) who recently wrote a blog post about the power of telling it like it is, when it’s like that. I have to admit, I’ve been more the type to experience it, learn from it, then write about it, from the point of view of the expert. Tia brought up a great point – why don’t we talk about things as they are happening, while we’re in the trenches? The obvious answer, in my case, is that I would be vulnerable and exposed.  But the truth is – for the first time in my life – that’s kind of exciting. Because I don’t have my shit together all the time, and I’m finally ready to admit that, and I really am ok with it….so….here I go…a post from the trenches.

This past few…..well….um, I don’t know whether to say 2 years, 2 months or 2 weeks because the truth is – it’s a journey, everyday with its challenges and also moments of joy and grace. However, this latest round of up-levelling sure has been a steep climb.

I feel as though I’ve been forced to face so many illusions that I had been completely unconscious and unaware of. This in and of itself is hard. From there, new decisions and actions are obvious and necessary, especially with my eyes wide open. But yet now I contend with fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and second guessing.

One minute it seems that all my upheaval boils down to a single issue, the next it seems all 50, 000 moving parts in my life are wrong. There are moments of loneliness and despair, followed by those of fierce courage.

I beg for clarity and yet when I see clearly, I fill my vision with fog so as not to have to face the real, raw truth.

I want it to be ‘sorted out’ and yet ultimately know it will be me who has to do the sorting.

I want to be right, and yet want to be wrong, when my rightness misses the mark of my lofty expectations that aren’t being met.

Is this what the coming of age feels like?

I know that transition, change, evolution and ultimately anything NEW has to be preceded by the death of the old. Wouldn’t it be nice to simply morph from one existence to the next, but alas, this glosses over a part of the process.

Bindu Wiles recently wrote a post on endings and beginnings – where she quotes Pat Barker’s book Regeneration:

Quoting from Bindu’s blog:

Barker writes of a doctor who “knew only too well how often the early stages of change or cure may mimic deterioration.

Cut a chrysallis open and you will find a rotting caterpillar.

What you will never find is that mythical creature, half caterpillar, half butterfly, a fit emblem of the human soul, for those cast of mind leads them to seek such emblems.

No, the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay.”

End Quote

Change is not easy, it’s not a piece of cake and you can’t have your cake and eat it to. Change means letting go of the old way, letting it decay and die and disintegrate. And with death and decay comes mourning as you experience the loss.

Gawd, it sounds so simple when you look at the facts, but throw in some human emotions, deep seeded beliefs, past experiences and you have a whole onion full of layers to peel back as you move forward, process, move forward, process, (repeat) your way through to the other side.

Though in my case the most immediate other side is the ‘age’ in which I identify this human experience with, and yet I know there is much more coming to the end, dying and decaying to make room for the new birth(s) that are to come.

Am I going crazy? Maybe a little, but only when I resist what is.

Letting go, letting flow, accepting death to experience life, all part and parcel of the experience I desire.

As I welcome 30 tomorrow, I recognize and accept that the death of my 20′s is necessary. Letting go of certain ways of being, doing, having etc. so that I can fully experience a NEW way.

Am I scared? Of course!

Am I sure? Not yet.

Am I ready? Almost.

I’m stepping in to the mystery of life – I’ll let you know what I find out.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Being of Service isn’t always cupcakes and lollipops.

It’s not really a secret that I LOVE Oprah Winfrey and although I’ve adhered to some house rules over at my place so as not to overload my other half with Lady Oisms I admit I indulge every chance I get.

One thing I admire about Oprah, outside of so many other things, is her desire and willingness to be of service. If you ever hear Oprah talk about her journey, you’ll hear her allude to this ideal. And I have to admit even I made the false assumption that this ‘service’ oriented attitude is what opened her to living what I perceived to be a fairytale life. (I know, I know, life is challenging for all of us, no matter what our circumstances, but, I think you’ll catch my drift.)

So in watching a recent episode of “Season 25: Behind the Scenes” I had my own aha moment. It was a reunion show they were doing with the entire cast of The Colour Purple and Oprah & Whoopi Goldberg would be discussing their tabloid fight/feud that in reality didn’t exist.

In actuality, as they discussed, Whoopi & Oprah had both made false assumptions that one had done something to upset the other & instead of calling each other up to clear the air – they had let this supposed fight go on for years without addressing it. It wasn’t until a party they were both in attendance of, that Whoopi approached Oprah to ask ‘if there was something she had done to upset her?’.

Now, if you’ve read The 4 Agreements, you are already aware that we shouldn’t make assumptions, but, in this case, that’s exactly what had happened. 2 women heard some rumours, made a couple of false assumptions and spent years wondering and contemplating what each one had done to the other to cause this falling out. Interesting eh?

And this is what I mean about ‘being of service isn’t always cupcakes and lollipops’. Here’s Oprah, having endured discomfort over many years in wondering what she had done to upset Whoopi, using her life to be of service to all of us. In watching that show, I (and I’m sure many others) were confronted with the question – am I making assumptions about someone in my life? Have I cut ties with someone for years, assuming things that may or may not be true? Is there anyone I need to clear the air with in order to let go and move on with my life?

Although it didn’t appear as though this illusory tiff between these two gals was eating away at Oprah (or Whoopi for that matter) to the point of extreme detriment, one couldn’t help but notice that it had clearly taken up mental space from time to time.

Being of service and allowing your life to represent lessons learned for the benefit and benevolent outcome of all of us is divine. Thank you to Oprah for had she never endured this human experience and shared the details with all of us – we might still be assuming wrongly and holding ourselves back unnecessarily.

Thanks again Lady O – your life of service has benefited me in SO many ways!!

When Forrest Gump, The Canucks & The Secret Intersected

In 2007 I was well on my way down the path of personal development. I had spent a year studying with Bob Proctor in his Coaching/Consulting course, discovered the 5 years in my dark, ground level apartment did have a purpose, came to the realization that I hated my job and wanted out, AND had just fallen in love with the movie The Secret and was activating the Law of Attraction in BIG ways.

I know there was a lot of controversy over the movie The Secret and I too agree that if taken too literally one could conclude that it was a load of bologna BUT, in my case that movie really did change my life.

The movie The Secret reconnected me with faith. My ability to believe what I couldn’t see.

Growing up I was very resistant to religion. Simply put, religion made me feel bad. I felt as though there was some larger than life entity that was watching me skip school, smoke cigarettes, make out with boys in the park (and all kinds of other shit I shouldn’t have been doing), and I basically chalked ‘God’ up to being another parent. And since I already had 3 of those – I know, luck me eh?, I really didn’t appreciate a 4th that I couldn’t even see, judging me from above. So I threw the baby out with the bathwater and concluded there was no higher power.

So it was a bit of a shock to me when I was down and out, in total despair in my life, ready to throw in the towel (at 23 yrs. old) that the higher power returned.

Now the Higher Power, God, the Universe, or whatever term you choose to use is some ridiculously smart shit. Because it didn’t show up in my life by way of the old paradigm of Church on Sunday – it knew I wouldn’t cave to that, so instead it came in the form of a movie called The Secret.

There are no words that I can find to articulate the feeling that came over me as I watched the movie so I won’t even try, but, suffice to say, me + that Higher power, have been on a hellova ride ever since.

But in the early days, I have to admit – I tried to test the power…

That particular year, 2007, the Vancouver Canucks were playing Dallas in the Stanley Cup playoffs and after a long series battle we were off to a game 7 in Vancouver & I wanted to go – big time.

But, logistics were in the way: couldn’t afford to buy a ticket to go…..but could I attract tickets….?

At 4:30pm of game day I heard on the radio that a pub downtown was giving away 2 tickets, a limo ride to and from, jerseys and all the beer you could get down at the game….YES! I’m in. Challenge being they were doing the draw for the tickets at 5pm – had to move fast!

So I quickly changed out of my biz attire, jumped in a cab to head downtown to of course, WIN the tickets.

2 minutes in to the cab ride we were in total gridlock in the middle of the Granville Street bridge. SHIT.

I leaned in to the cab driver and said, I know this is totally rude, but here’s a $20, I’m going to jump out here because I have a deadline and if I stay in this cab – I’m going to miss it…

Out of the cab, on to the sidewalk, and sprinting full tilt over the bridge and down Granville St.

This is when someone yelled out “Run Forrest Run!” Haha!

I know, you’re dying to know – so I’ll keep it short & sweet.

Sweating profusely I blasted in to the packed bar with about 10 minutes to spare. Chugged 2 back to back beers (you had to buy & drink your beer to enter your name in the draw) and WON the tickets!!

Yes, it’s true. Out of the hundred or so people in the bar, many who had multiple entries in the draw and had been drinking there all afternoon, my name was drawn & I’d only been there for 10 minutes.

Now this story wasn’t a brag fest about how I won tickets to Game 7, rode door to door via a limo, won 2 jerseys and had lots of beer at the Game.

It’s about faith. The idea that there is power in believing what you cannot see. So much power in fact that from time to time your faith transcends and becomes real, 3D, right there in front of your eyes.

This post is to express my gratitude to my higher power for not giving up on me. For finding a way to get through to my cynical, analytical, logical brain and super strong ego and reconnect so we could get on with our life’s work.

And to remind anyone reading this that life can be magical, and amazingly wonderful things do happen when you believe what you can’t see, trust, take guided action and receive all that life has to offer.

And not to worry, if you’re somewhere near my 23 year old paradigm re: higher power….remember what Oscar Wilde said:
“Scepticism is the beginning of Faith.”

Go Nucks!!