Don’t Ignore Desire

Desire, as defined by Wallace Wattles, is talent seeking expression and development. Found in Chaper 13 of The Science of Getting Rich Wattles hones in on the concept that desire is proof of our capabilities. In other words if we have a desire to do something we MUST also then possess the capabilities to accomplish whatever it may be. We are never to fear our desires. Instesad, recognize and pursue them!

For me this message is very empowering. I have often had a desire to do something different only to think, or sometimes be told, that I couldn’t pursue it for a variety of different reasons. When I was younger I had a desire to pursue martial arts. When I began training, I remember thinking, “I’m so injury prone, I’ll get hurt too easily” and I wanted to drop out. Thankfully I didn’t, and the first 3 months of training was learning how to properly fall.  From then forward my  fear of injury was therefore conquered and in the end, after 5 years of rigorous daily practice I ended my career with a silver medal in the Sport Jujitsu World Championships – what a feeling!

Don’t ignore your desires – Illuminate them! Don’t fear the hard work. It is always worth it in the end!

Close your eyes and IMAGINE…

As a little girl I was one of those ‘teacher’s pet’, ‘goodie two shoes’ type. I did exactly what I was told, followed instructions to a tee and let’s face it over excelled whenever I could. And though you might be thinking ‘I hated those kind of kids’ fear not, as I was also socially and personally aware of myself and my surroundings and made sure not to make other kids feel bad or as though they weren’t good enough. Instead I strived to make every and all situations pleasing and enjoyable for all involved. (A skill I think I picked up growing up with divorcing and eventually divorced parents.)

In Kindergarten we were introduced to reading, a skill I had already mastered. At home every night in the bath I read Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys novels, and when I was at school I pretended I had no idea how to even sound out a sentence. Why you ask? Simple. None of the other kids in my class knew how to read and so I didn’t want them to feel bad about themselves knowing that I did. I remember my Mum coming home from the parent/teacher interviews and getting grounded for ‘lying’ about being able to read – soo not fair! But, yet today I can’t tell a lie either, so all in all, another bonus for my character.

As I look back on my overly analytical and logical little five year old mind I realize how little time I spent doing the ‘right’ brain kind of activities. Daydreaming, imagining, and building an imaginary life in my mind. Wishing and dreaming up elaborate and beautiful pictures of what life could be. Today that is a skill I work on developing everyday. Imagining and dreaming up what I want my life to look like. The kinds of things I want to see a part of it. The kinds of future aspirations I have for myself. The goals I wish to set and achieve.

Don’t think of this as a waste of time, or pointless because you can’t see the ‘how’ of making your dreams come to fruition. Just enjoy those moments where you can close your eyes, and imagine….

Collaboration is the Key

I was recently interviewed for an upcoming article about female entrepreneurship, here’s one of their stellar questions and my response. I’d love to use this as a starting off point for a much needed conversation. Add your thoughts and comments please!

What is the best way for women to support each other?

My response:

Stop competing and start collaborating.  Throw age, race, looks, experience etc. out the window – it doesn’t matter. The most important way to support each other is show up as your whole self, look to add value in an enthusiastic and passionate way and synergize with the other women (and men) in your life.  Gone are the days of having to ‘know it all’ (not that I’m sure that ever existed) and now we must be clear on what we have to offer and find others who offer complimentary knowledge, skill and service.  This is how we will grow to the next level. No more one upping each other, it’s about joining forces.

Thanks to Lizzy Karp,Campus CEO and YWIB for this great question!!

Celebrate good times – come on!

The city of Vancouver is electric right now as we host the 2010 Winter Olympic Games. And despite all kinds of talk over the past year about what a disruption the games would be, how much money they would cost us etc. I don’t think anyone can deny how incredible this is. Call me naive, or call me Pollyanna, but I for one am thoroughly enjoying this entire experience and so far my life has been able to carry on in somewhat of a state of normality, despite all the excitement.

I live just across the bridge from downtown in South Granville and although we’re only 20 minutes away (walking) from the action, the games are clearly not happening over here. I’ve been able to drive, park, get Starbucks, groceries, get to and from my office, meet with clients etc. with no major issues. And then, when I’ve crossed over into the super mario land of downtown with my Canada Jersey on and cow bell in hand I’ve been able to get in to the true spirit of this Nation and it’s love and it’s celebration of these times.

Speaking of celebration I was profoundly struck by something when we (and by we, I mean Canada’s Jenn Heil) won the first medal, a silver in the ladies moguls. Karen Bharke from the USA was the winner of the bronze medal and I don’t think it will come as a shock to anyone who watched the race or the awards ceremony to hear me say, she was a bit over the top with her celebration. I wasn’t sure if she was also a dancer or maybe a gymnast as I watched her pirouetting and jumping around awaiting the ceremony portion of the evening. But it got me to thinking….

Before the games started, our Prime Minister, Steven Happer,  urged Canadians to allow “uncharacteristic outburst of patriotism” and to “feel bashful about waving the flag”. I remember thinking – what’s that all about – we’re Patriotic! Then as I watched the celebration portion of the night play out on Cypress Mountain as Canada accepted it’s first medal of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games – I realized what he meant. Karen Bharke was celebrating, big time, where as Jenn Heil and even the Gold Medalist Hannah Kearney were far more reserved. My initial reaction was one of annoyance with Karen, thinking “tone it down chick” and in that moment I realized something profound. When we are modest in our celebration, when we aren’t over the top, when we don’t express our emotions to the enth degree, do we miss out on the true experience?

It’s an interesting concept to ponder and I don’t think either way is right, nor wrong. I just wonder on an energetic level if by holding back our emotions and being less expressive, do we hinder ourselves us from experiencing the potential feelings that come with celebrations on this scale. I wonder…..

So, like any good Canadian pondering such a big question, I went out and celebrated in my own ‘over the top’ way. To see and feel what it was like to engage in such a big way. And let me tell you, it felt good!

Three Simple Words

I was staring at one of my vision boards this morning and noticed a little card, the size of a business card, with three words written on it.  I wish I could give credit to whomever came up with them, but, for some reason I didn’t note the source.  Suffice to say, these are not my words and I only take credit for communicating them to you.

The words are:

Intention, Attention, No Tension

(well I guess technically it’s four words)

Intention

A simple definition states that intention is an anticipated outcome that guides your planned actions. When you state an intention what you are doing is sending out energy in the direction that you want to go in.  It’s a guide which helps us choose thoughts, feelings, and actions that will move us in the direction of where we want to go.  It’s like leaving for a road trip with the final destination being your intention.  What often happens in life is we don’t know where we’re going, we don’t know what the anticipated outcome is and often we haven’t given enough thought to what we want it to be.

Homework:

Write down where you want to be in 5 years.  What kind of relationships do you have; at home, at work, with friends and family.  Where do you live?  What kind of home do you live in?  What car or transit system do you use? Where do you vacation and what do you do while on vacation.  Where or what is your work? How much money do you earn? (You get the idea.)  Step one to to setting your intention is knowing what your intention is.

Attention

Attention is simply a focussing of your energy.  There are billions of particles of energy surrounding us at all times.  Without attention to the particular it would be easy to get lost in the muddle of all the energy. Once you’ve stated your intention the ability for you to focus your attention will become easier.

Homework:

Ask yourself: “What focussed thoughts, feeling and actions will move me in the direction of my intention?”

No Tension

The last piece is about choosing a path of least resistance.  Life is not supposed to be, nor does it need to be as hard as we make it.  Once you’ve stated your intention and you’ve made a commitment to focus your attention the next piece is to let go.  Life is about flow and when you’re in the flow – you’ll know!  When you are forcing something there will always be tension – this makes it too hard.  You want to detach yourself from “how” you will arrive at your intention and just know that by having your intention and giving it your attention through focussed energy you will achieve what you intended to.

Summary:

State your intention (what outcome do you want), focus your attention (thoughts, feelings and actions) and chose the path of no tension (let go and let it flow).

"It was all a dream" – Notorious B.I.G

Growing up listening to Hip Hop music didn’t always impress my parents, but, behind all the profanity and derogatory comments was a permeating message that I could be, do and have anything I wanted in life regardless of where I came from. What is so intoxicating about the Hip Hop culture is that these young kids who were exposed to one of the most challenging of upbringings – made it. They became successful and with their success came the success of their family and closest friends.

Whether studying under Bob Proctor or listening to Biggie Smalls and Kanye West, it’s important to remember that life begins in your imagination. As you quietly ponder what it is that you really want your life to look like you begin to plant seeds of potential that with steps of action become reality. It doesn’t matter what your present circumstances are – it only matters whether you’re able to “close your eyes and imagine – the good life”.

If you are not living the life of your dreams, or at least working towards it everyday – then you are not living up to your potential. Sit down today and imagine what your life would look like if you could have anything? Where would you live, what would you do everyday, what car do you drive, what clothes do you wear?

“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”
- Benjamin Mays

What does your “good life” look like?

Growing or Dying?

In my many years of study under the incredible Bob Proctor there was always one underlying lesson that governed all others. There are only two directions that any living organism can venture: towards growth or towards death. Every once and a while it’s important to take a step back in order to clearly identify what people and activities are facilitating my growth and subsequently what people and activities are facilitating my death.  Now, of course, we’re all going to die at some point, that we all know is the inevitable, but, the journey can be one of growth and cultivation or it can be one of drought.

If you think of your body, mind and spirit as a garden that you have been put in charge of; are you flourishing, growing and blooming or are you wilting, thirsty and dying?  As human beings we have a responsibility to ourselves to plant, nourish and harvest the seeds that we sew.

Over the course of the next week, take an inventory of your life.  What activities are you participating in? What company are you keeping?  What books are your reading?  What television are you watching?  What food are you eating?  What music are you listening to?

Are you planting and caring for seeds of growth, development and life?  Or, are you planting seeds of drought and famine?

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

- Maria Robinson

Rainy Days

For those who know me personally, it will come as no surprise to hear me say – I’m not a big fan of rain. That said, after spending months studying Eckart Tolle’s work I know better than to resist the present moment and instead accept it for what it is, as that will allow it to pass through.  So, instead I got to thinking what will make me feel great during these rainy days?  What I came up with was that it is a great time for me to do some imagining…

I’m very much a busy body, frequently on the run and sometimes don’t take enough time to sit and ponder my life: Where I’ve been, where I wish to go, what I want to experience, who’s company I want to enjoy?  I often talk about the fact that thought without action won’t yield any tangible results.  What I’m realizing in taking this time out to reflect upon things is that action without thought won’t get you what you really want in life.

What do I want?  Seems like a fairly innocent and straightforward question – but is it?  In my experience, both personally, and as an observer in many of my clients lives there seems to often be a drastic difference between what we really want and what we think we can get.  It’s easy to ask for something that you can see a clear path in which to receive it.  The real answer to the question “what do I want?” often doesn’t outline a clear path for you to follow and therefore becomes, often down right scary.  But, will playing small, playing within the boundaries of what “looks” possible really allow your heart and soul to sing out?  Will playing small give you the energy to live your life to it’s fullest potential?

Take some time during these rainy days and ask yourself the question: What do I want?  One recommendation I have is write the question out with your dominant hand, then, put the pen in your non-dominant hand and write down whatever answers come to your mind.  Don’t judge yourself, don’t worry about how you’d make “that” happen, just have fun with it.  Go big – don’t hold back.

Let me know how it goes,

H

Burst Your Bubble

I was chatting with one of my colleagues this morning and because we both live and work in the field of personal development it is always the basis of our conversation. Today we were talking about how challenging the last step is prior to a major breakthrough in life. Even for us, with a plethora of combined knowledge and access to information the last step is still tough.

I often think of it as a living inside of a bubble. The bubble we presently occupy consists of all our current belief systems, perceptions, basically the “system” we operate ourselves with. As we grow as people and expand our level of awareness, through education, we begin to fill more and more space within our bubble. Eventually, if we continue to seek out information, we start to rub up against the boundary of the bubble that we are living in. The friction and tension that is a result of pushing up against the barrier signifies the “last step”. If you push through you end up bursting your bubble only to find yourself inside a new world, a bigger, brighter bubble. However, the pitfall is that the tension overwhelms us and we shrink back to a place of comfort.

So, how do we avoid this?

Step one is always awareness. Ok, so I’ve covered that, now you know what’s coming. The feelings of overwhelmingness start to creep in and your mind starts telling you that it would be easier if you went back to doing what you know.

Step two is to counteract! Even though your self-talk may start to stray from the objective you MUST take control. Remind yourself of all the good that you desire and all that you deserve to accomplish. If you don’t already use them, introduce affirmations. Tell yourself that you are worthy of what you are working towards and that you will persevere! Furthermore, create a vision or an image board. It’s easy to forget why we are doing all this hard work if the goals and objectives are not visible. When we lose sight of the image in the minds eye is when it is most important to have something ready in the physical world.

Step three is simply to have faith and believe. If you have the desire to do something, be something or have something, you already have within you the capability and potential to see it through to fruition. You’ve planted the seeds of growth, you’ve developed and cultivated them, the key now is to believe that they are growing. We don’t “see” grass until it bursts through the surface of the Earth, but that grass has been working hard beneath the ground to make it to that glorious day. The same is true here. Just because we can’t “see” the objective today doesn’t mean it won’t arrive tomorrow. Believe and succeed!

Burst your bubble – it’s worth it!

Remember: to get what you’ve never had, you must do what you’ve never done.

The Four Agreements – In Action

I was at a dinner party over the holidays and was chatting with another guest about a great book that I’m currently reading. I had picked it up at the Airport bookstore during Christmas travel and it is apparently quite popular. Apparently, I say, because when I mentioned I was reading it I received a laugh and the comment “yeah, you and the rest of the word”. I couldn’t help but feel the jab, however slight it may have been.

I don’t know why but my mind immediately shifted and I started thinking about this short little paperback book The Four Agreements, that I read a month ago or so. The book, though simple, is profound in its advice. Adopt the Four Agreements and live a life of peace, joy, love and happiness. Just what we’re all looking for – right!

I started to run through them in my mind:

1. Always be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

In this particular case, number one is kind of irrelevant. But, look at number 2 & 3. By assuming that my fellow guest was insulting my book choice (which was my first reaction) I was violating one of the agreements. Furthermore, by taking exception to it I was taking it personally violating yet a second of the four agreements.

It’s always important to understand that the way we see the world is not the way any other person sees it. We, as individuals, each bring our own set of specs to each and every part of our life. Our specs are made up of our beliefs, our experiences our education etc. and no one combination is identical to another. Therefore, we can never assume with certainty the meaning behind the actions of others.

In the end I CHOSE not to assume or take personally the comment. Subsequently, I had a wonderful evening and thoroughly enjoyed finishing the book.