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  • Part of recovery is relapse

    Posted on by Heather

    When I say I’m a recovering perfectionist, I’m not kidding.

    I am recovering from my diseased mind.

    My software system has a virus and I’m upgrading the code.

    Here’s a glimpse into my perfectionist voice…

    • Spelling mistake here.
    • You’ve gained weight.
    • You lost your train of thought there.
    • You were repeating yourself.
    • You didn’t prepare enough.
    • That guy still hasn’t called you back.
    • You shouldn’t be drinking.
    • You look tired.
    • These boots, again?
    • Why’d you say that?

    Her perspective on everything is: not good enough.

    Living with her has definitely had it’s share of challenges. But here’s the gift: she’s my greatest teacher.

    Every moment she calls to me in her sultry tone. She can slay me in an instant with her quick wit and good points. But each moment, if I can be conscious enough, and stay present, I get to choose whether I go down her rabbit hole.

    Sometimes I do.

    Mostly I don’t.

    My inner perfectionst is my personal trainer. Her presence in my life tones my self-love muscles. And for this, I’m forever grateful.

     

    2 Responses to Part of recovery is relapse

    1. I was just talking to someone last night about this Heather.
      Your words resonate with me because I often catch myself thinking my efforts aren’t enough. And that just comes from me (my subconscious)having HUGE expectations.

      I am in the process of learning to see how far I have come in accomplishing something instead of beating myself for what didn’t go so well. It’s an everyday battle and a learning process and yes, I sometimes get frustrated and cry, but then I pick up myself and keep going.

      I’d like to think that as long as we take care (as much as possible) of our mental an physical health there will always be new opportunities, challenges and things that make you stumble along the way are there to make you grow (this sounds a bit cliche but it’s the truth). Sometimes it’s not easy and we need support but things have a way of working themselves out.

      I have seen you around in the social sphere but I have never visited your site. This is a great post, thank you for sharing!

    2. Karina,

      Absolutely! And it is so true. In addition to our mental and physical well being – which certainly keeps the door open for opportunity, cultivating and caring for our spiritual well being keeps us connected in order to deeply know which ones to say yes to and which to graciously decline. Also cliche but very true – it’s a journey. All my love to you! xo

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