In my early 20’s I had a severe issue when it came to being hard on myself. Almost completely unaware of my complex, my only insight would come from concerned friends and family (and of course my Mum) when they would question my position and why on earth I was beating myself up so harshly. You see, I was of the belief that if I simply ‘willed’, ‘pushed’ and ‘beat’ myself in to submission of what needed to be done – I would be able to reach my goals and live the life of my dreams.
What a drastic mistake this was. However, this is a mistake I see many of my colleagues, clients and friends making on a daily basis. Unaware of what to do with dissatisfaction, disappointment and unhappiness, many people (and especially women) turn to the ‘self-bullying’ type behaviour I was so accustomed to earlier in my life. The ‘what’s wrong with me’, ‘why can’t I get it done’, ‘I should work harder’, ‘I should get up earlier’, ‘I need to make more money’ dialogue starts to amp up in between the ears. Ironically this behaviour actually leads to one of the biggest energy leaks a human can develop and interestingly prohibits all of which this self- abuse is attempting to correct. Quite the paradox!
So, what to do?
First things first – MOMENT OF TRUTH – are you ‘beating yourself up’, ‘being hard on yourself’, ‘trying to ‘will’ yourself’ in to becoming something other than what you are right now, in this moment? Come on now – tell yourself the truth!
And not to worry – if this is a tactic you’ve been attempting – hey, I tried it too and congratulations for your valiant efforts. But, if you’re like me and in reading this you realize….hmmm….maybe there is another way to get what I want in my life – then amen seester (or brother) – you’ve just expanded your mind and you’re ready for something new.
In order to harness all the life force energy you need, and channel it through your body, to ACTUALLY move you in the direction of your goals – you need to fuel up your vehicle, not whip it from behind. You need to charge the battery, not expect it to run when it’s dead. You need to accept and embrace who you are RIGHT NOW and recognize that THIS is the person whom will act out the necessary steps in order to live the life of your dreams.
As my good friend Janice Martin used to say to me “you need to put the whip away”! (ooooo – I like that!)
I know, I know – how?
1. Awareness & Truth – as I already eluded to – the first step is telling the truth and therefore becoming aware. If you’re not sure if you’re being hard on yourself, you need to listen. How do you speak to yourself? What do you say? What’s the tone? Expectations?
2. Self-love & acceptance – there’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow and become an even bigger, better, more enlightened, higher educated, more experienced human – BUT – the true path of development is illuminated when you come in the form of a united front. If you’re energy is disjointed because 1/2 of you is the ‘boss’ and the other 1/2 the ‘abused’ and ‘bullied’ ‘slave’ you are no where near your true energetic abilities, and therefore even progression will feel painful. It’s time to become familiar with the true essence of your divine nature. YOU are an amazingly talented, ambitious, hard working, creative being who’s birth right is abundance. You deserve and are capable of achieving every natural authentic desire you possess. Start making friends with yourself and accepting and loving the true nature of who you are.
3. Jet-fuelled inspired action – once you’re fuelled up via a united front, THEN it’s time to take inspired action. When you’re totally tapped in to the ‘voice’ or messages coming from within about what external steps to take – you are authentically developing. That little voice that used to criticize is GONE and in it’s place is a Robin for YOU Batman. Get ready to experience the ultimate ride when your intuition and ‘gut-feeling’ is super-charged and navigating your every move. THIS is the path that will expediently move you towards to realization of your dreams.
Ladies, gents – it’s time! STOP the madness of self-abuse and release the old paradigm of sheer will power – this is no longer the way to go. (Not sure if it ever was.) In these times – you are already equipped with the internal GPS system that is pre-destined for greatness. Get out of your own way. Unite – you with you. This is the path that leads to LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS!
All the best!!!