I feel the energy off the high-achiever when I mention self-love. “Oh god, here we go with the woo-woo, airy fairy, kumbaya…”. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended by any of that and I do think the world could use more fairies, but self-love is really not about what you do, it’s about how you do it.
I remember picking up a friend to take her to the airport a while back. She was a little hasty in her prep time and had yet to get dressed by the time I arrived. She ran upstairs and came down fully clothed, only her nylons left to put on. I watched in horror as she pulled them over her legs, almost falling over since she refused to sit down for even the 20 seconds required. Then after she’d gotten them over both her legs she hiked them up her torso with the same kind of energy you’d assume someone would channel if they were chopping firewood with an axe. Following which she moved on to her hair. I don’t think even the harshest gymnastics coach on the planet would have approved the way she took the brush to her tender scalp. Even a horse wouldn’t appreciate the brute force she used as she tamed her locks into place. Ok, I could cut her some slack, she was running late and maybe she doesn’t always treat her body as if it’s an external pain in the butt, but I’ve been schooled in the ‘how you do one thing is how you do anything’ philosophy and knowing her as I do, I think this treatment of her body is fairy normal.
Self-love is not some indulgent, new age mumbo jumbo. Self-love is a subtle shift in where your head is at when it comes to the way you treat yourself. It’s about how you engage with your body, your heart, your spirit. It’s about treating yourself in the same gentle, loving, kind and compassionate way you’d treat a small child or an aging parent. Self-love doesn’t mean being in love with yourself in an ego driven dance of narcissism. It means opening up to the love that is the essence of who you are and allowing that energy to be your human experience.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi