The In-between – we meet again.
If you haven’t read about the in-between before, here’s a link to that post: click here
Now if I didn’t know better, if my experience hadn’t taught me, had I not gained a new perspective along the way, I might assume that I have indeed slipped right back to the beginning; I might believe I’d had my pivotal fall from grace; I might even be ready to give up.
But I’m not going to give up. I know I’m not back at the beginning. But I sure am in the in-between and it looks, feels, and sounds dark, lonely and scary.
After three years of working as a Business Development Coach I’ve decided to give up my license and go back to pursuing my true passion, my ultimate destiny and my real love: YOU. (and me of course too:) It’s been a great ride and I’ve very much enjoyed my experiences and the things I’ve learned. However, like anything in life, if what you’re doing is not in perfect alignment with your authentic being, there will be friction. At first it will be manageable, like a soft rub between your toe and shoe, in fact for quite a while you’ll be able to allow it to live beneath the surface of your consciousness, you won’t even feel it. But as time goes on, and you keep walking, the rubbing begins to become noticeable, and as your feet swell (I’m liking this analogy) the space between your toe and shoe will become smaller, the friction will become more obvious and a blister will form. Now free will does play a role and many people push through these loud signs from their higher self, indicating to them that they are going in the wrong direction. Hard calluses form and their body finds a way to keep going. But this is indeed a sign. This is not the path to divine enlightenment. This is not the experience your soul came to have. It’s time to STOP. This road wasn’t meant to be walked with calluses. There’s another route that’s waiting for you.
And so after much agony and arguing between my soul and my mind I made what was an incredibly difficult decision (for me) to step away from what I was doing and once again recommit to my authentic path. So why so hard you ask?
Good question – I’m working through that one.
First of all logistically. As a result of my decision I have had to go through what any licensee has to experience. The record books, the financial audit, the closing paperwork, etc. All the things I hate. Paperwork and numbers. For three years I was carried by my partner in this area. I was ignorant to this side of my business, and never took the time nor developed the interest to get informed. So when it was time to share my news, when I’d made my decision and the wheels were put in motion, I knew this day would come.
Secondly, the finances. The business model that I’ve been licensing was a great revenue generator for me and for my business. It paid the bills and then some. I knew that I was giving this up and although my heart and soul supported me (and still are) to know that money is just energy, and if I am open to receiving it, and willing to provide service in exchange for it, it will continue to be present in my life – I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still scared. Bills are piling up, revenues are slowing down (as I transition) and the future still is un-known. Yes, I have plans, I’ve set goals, and I know what actions I need and want to take – but my raw, real truth is that I am afraid.
Thirdly, I’m on my own. And although my spiritual practice (mediation, writing to my guides, noticing the signs, signals and clues, taking inspired action, trust, love) reminds me that I’m not alone, once again I have put myself in a position to truly create my own way. I had this opportunity four years ago and as I look back in reflection of my choices, I know that I chose the route of licensing and pursing business development because it felt safer than creating everything myself. And how I ironic that here I am again. My soul must be rejoicing in celebration. After all it was only a 3 year detour and my time has definitely been well spent.
So what now?
One foot in front of the other. Whenever you’re in the in-between it’s important to stay present and not panic. Panic occurs in the mind as you jump from the past, to the future at a Formula 1 race car pace. You can easily overwhelm yourself and overstimulate your system with the spastic mental activity. Instead what I recommend and what I’m practicing very diligently right now, is to stay in your body. All day long, reconnect with your body. Feel your body. Reconnect with your breath. Feel your breath going in and out of your body. This helps tremendously as you move through this period of time.
Secondly – foundation. Foundation is important always but EVEN more so when you’re in the in-between of life. Sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation – an all encompassing nurturing ritual for your mind, body and soul. You need your whole self to work in synergy, to guide you through the process, to illuminate the path and to have the courage to walk forward in to the darkness, the unknown.
Lastly – desire and expectation. Even when you’re experiencing a dark time, the most important intention to focus your energy toward is the light. Why are you in the in-between? Because you’re up-leveling – you’re following the divine guidance of your soul/higher self and you’re moving to a bigger and better expression of your true self. It’s just that you’re in-between. You’ve left the comfort of what was, that in which you KNEW, inside and out, could predict almost every moment, every step and every outcome. You’re en-route to your new consensual reality. So your focus must be towards that in which you desire and furthermore expect will be your ultimate destination.
I’m accepting the moment of where I am on this journey. There are still steps to take and time to pass as I continue to evolve to the next stop. I know that the view will be spectacular, and the experience will be divine. And if you’re in the in-between as well, know that you’re on your own, but you’re definitely not alone.
With love and light,