I has such a mixed reaction last night when I tuned in to watch my good friend and colleague Christopher Flett on The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch. Chris was on the show to discuss his book What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business. Because I know Chris personally I’ve been privy to discussions with him around his intention behind writing the book. Believing strongly that ‘knowledge is power’ Chris felt compelled to share with otherwise ignorant women what really goes on in business behind the closed doors when alpha males gather. By giving away the ‘secrets’ of the alpha male Chris gives women the hand up and enables them to reach the levels of success in business which have been dominated by men. Chris is passionate about partnering with women who understand the fundamentals of business and is promoting the synergy that exists when the two genders work together. I admire and support Chris for his courage in exposing the information and bringing all parties to the same playing field.
The show was set up as a panel discussion and accompanying Chris was Mel Robins and Kandi Haupt. What most upset me about the show was the animosity and anger that both these women were giving off. Mel’s comment was that this conversation about ‘alpha males’ was archaic and irrelevant in this day and age. Well, as women in business I’d like to call her bluff. I continually encounter alpha males on a daily basis and knowing their drivers, and how to best do business with them has increased my success 10 fold. I agree that demographics are changing and that the ‘old alpha’ persona is beginning what will be a very slow death, however, in this case ignorance is not bliss! Kandi, on the other hand was even more disturbing as she bragged about being a ‘bitch’ and a ‘maniac on a mission’, both of which are female versions of the alpha male. Both women put me off as they exuded anger, which comes from fear, rather than poise and control that comes from confidence.
There is no argument that Chris’s message is contentious and aggressive, even he will admit that. But I think what these two women missed was his intention. Both of them brought up the word results a number of times – kudos!!! Business is all about results and if positive results is the end in mind, how does arguing and fighting get us there? Both Mel and Kandi could have benefited women in business by LISTENING rather than trying to talk over one another and Chris.
One thing I’ve learned in life is that you can learn from anyone at any time. The universal law of polarity teaches us that if we can find something wrong, it’s a good sign, because by law there must also be something right. I would have loved to see each panelist share their take, listen openly to the other’s and leave the show with a new perspective on how to achieve successful RESULTS in business.
Instead, the women displayed an all too familiar female stereotype and let our gender down once again.